


Called Out In The Dark

by L_o_l_a



Series: Hunger Games AU [1]
Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-11 19:07:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7066399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_o_l_a/pseuds/L_o_l_a
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU The 74th Hunger Games is interrupted by the rebellion. But the Games isn't what it should be already- Katniss and Cato have an alliance that is shocking the whole of Panem, and both of them... They've crossed a line, and they cannot go back.<br/>(This links to my other fic 'Paint Our Love' which is the Johanna/Finnick focussed version of this.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. We’re Going Under If We Can’t Be At Peace

**Called Out In The Dark**

**Chapter One: We’re Going Under If We Can’t Be At Peace**

 

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be,_

_Feeling so faithless,_

_l_ _ost under the surface,_

_Don't know what you're expecting of me._

_ Linkin Park: Numb _

 

Katniss kept her face impassive as she watched Cato rapidly, and continuously, decapitate the dummies that were set up in the sword-fighting section. Haymitch had told her enough about the Careers for her to know they would be lethal and to not be surprised by their weapons prowess. 

She could not afford to show fear, surprise or any other emotion that they would leap upon as a weakness. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t afraid. This boy- no _man_ , she corrected herself, for he was 18 and built like a fully grown soldier - was different from the other Careers. He was so intense that Katniss knew if any of the other tributes were to be her end it would be him.

That wasn’t to say that his female counterpart- the tiny dark-haired District Two girl who had shown a terrifying and impressive skill with knives- hadn’t intimidated her too. It was simply that Katniss could see the same determination to win in Cato that she knew was burning in her. They all wanted to win for the glory- all the Careers- and Cato was no different in his arrogance, but he had the edge on them. They had their individual skills; but he had all of that combined _and_ the power of an ox on them.

She was still contemplating this- of how would she possibly survive if she didn’t have a bow and arrow for her defence- when he stopped his training and locked his blue eyes on hers. She could do nothing but stare back as she froze on the spot, feeling as if time had stopped still. She could feel a blush inexplicably creeping up her cheeks as they continued to stare at each other. He tilted his head but did not tear his stare anyway, and Katniss felt her knees begin to tremble – from the awkward way she was knelt or because of the way he was looking at her she didn’t know- but she was determined to not look away first.

_I’m not going to let you break me, I’m not going to back down,_ she thought, even as her heart raced.

He seemed to read her mind then because he smirked and raised an eyebrow, chucking his sword carelessly to one side before striding over to her, eyes still on hers.  He crouched down right next to her, leaving only centimetres between them, and he whispered, “So you’re not afraid of me Fire Girl?”

Katniss could hear the taunting in his voice and her blood boiled. “No,” she hissed back, “Not in the slightest.”

His smirk widened and he leaned in closer still, so close that Katniss could feel his warm breath on her collarbone as he bent to her ear, “Not yet.”

He stood up then, still smirking, before finally tearing his blue eyes away from her as he turned and made his way over to the weights section.

Katniss made herself stay still for a moment and she squeezed her eyes shut briefly before forcing herself up on to her feet. He was trying to intimidate her, he was _taunting_ her. She could barely contain a growl as she strode over to the archery station, running her fingers over each bow available until one felt right. 

She knew he was watching, in fact they all were, when she strode to the marker line and pulled the string tight. She gave herself a second or two of complete blankness before she let the arrow loose, already knowing it would hit the target’s centre perfectly.

There was silence throughout the room as she spun around and she smiled triumphantly as she caught Cato’s eyes once more. _I’m not the only one who should be afraid,_ she thought, _and you know it don’t you?_

She didn’t stop to look at the rest of their faces; she simply set the bow back in its place and marched out of the training centre. There was no point staying in there anymore, she knew what she was good at, she knew what she could do, and she knew she could do with the advantage of leaving them with her threat hanging. Now they all knew that she was not a weak link; now they all knew she was a threat.

*

 

“Look, just go in there and do the best you can, you need to impress the Gamemakers to get yourself a decent score. Do you have an approach? Do you have a plan?” Haymitch was demanding answers, as the rest of the table remained silent.

“ _Katniss_!” He launched a bread roll at her as she idly stirred her stew. “Do you have a plan?” 

She stared up at him, furious, as the bread roll bounced from her shoulder to the floor, wondering why he was picking on her – as usual- and not Peeta.

“No, Haymitch, I do _not_ have a plan. Why the fuck should I? Isn’t that your job? Isn’t it the Mentor’s job to come up with plans and strategies? My plan is to stay alive and that’s as far as I’ve got… Do you have anything better? Huh? ‘Cos I would love to know if you’ve actually bothered to think up something that could keep us alive!” She could barely contain her rage as she pelted a roll right back at him.

“Katniss!” Effie tried to chastise her even as Haymitch swore violently.

“You want to stay alive sweetheart? Then you stop acting like such a bitch and give the people a reason to keep you alive! You want to live honey? Then damn well do what it takes and make a goddamn impression!” 

Katniss gave a strangled cry in fury and bellowed, “What do you want me to do? Slap on a see-through dress and simper like that stupid District One girl?! Do you want me to pretend I think this is an honour and not some sick, twisted game to show everyone that the Capitol is the power and the rest of are just slaves!?”

She knew she had gone too far when even Haymitch paled at her remarks. Effie could only whimper and Cinna, Portia and Peeta just stared at her in shock.

She sat back down, having risen from her seat in her anger, before standing back up again. “I’m sorry,” she said shortly, “My plan is to shoot some arrows. That’s it.” And she left the room as quick as she could, darting out into the hallway and pressing the lift button before anyone else would even be out of their seat.

She knew Peeta would try and follow her so she avoided the obvious spots where he would look and she slipped out of the elevator onto the training ground, sighing with relief when she spotted it was deserted. She headed straight for the obstacle course and curled up next to one of the giant foam vaults that she had early watched the Careers tackle with ease.

She could feel herself calming down, and she began to feel contrite about her words. There was no need to shout at Haymitch. The guy was a drunk, and Katniss had been thankful for the help he had given so far. But she couldn’t stop herself feeling furious about it all. And why should she pretend otherwise? Every year 23 children were killed for the sake of entertainment and people were either too shallow, too vain and too stupid to know better or too weak to do anything about it. She thought about the other tributes, wondering how they all really felt about being here. _Even the Careers_ , she wondered, _do they really think this is right?_

She thought about Cato, and wondered about his life. Haymitch had said that Career tributes were trained for the Hunger Games from a young age till when they were 18. She hadn’t asked what he meant by young age- had he meant from the age of 12, when they were eligible to be picked? Or had he meant earlier? When she was five and playing in the woods with her father, was Cato already been trained to kill?

She stopped herself in her tracks then, because she knew this line of thought would get her nowhere. She had two choices, and two choices only: kill or be killed. If she started to blur those lines and think about what was right, and who the other tributes really were, she would never get back home to look after Prim.

Suddenly, there was a soft thump behind her and she looked up and jumped, gasping, as Cato’s face loomed over her.

He grinned, smug, as he slid gracefully off the vault and down next to her, “Scared?” 

Katniss scowled back at him, “What are you doing here?” She wrapped her arms tighter around her legs as he rested his head against the foam behind them.

“I could ask you the same question.” He closed his eyes and Katniss studied his face. 

He was handsome- statuesque, _stunning_ really- with his tan skin, dark blond, stylishly cut hair and chiselled features. She couldn’t help but let her eyes flicker over his face. She had never really looked at boys before- not properly- and it was strange for her now to realise she had found someone she actually _wanted_ to look at. It bothered her that it was Cato but for now she let herself admire. 

A second later his eyes snapped open and once more Katniss felt herself feeling trapped by his gaze, a blush creeping on her cheeks as she realised she had been caught staring. 

“Like what you see do you?” his lips twisted up into another smirk, and his eyes stayed on hers, intense and searching, teasing her _again_. 

She couldn’t formulate a snide response- or any response- so she looked away from him to gather her thoughts, hoping some insult would come to her. 

He seemed to enjoy her moment of mental lapse because he chuckled to himself, “Really? Girl on Fire has a thing for me? How… interesting.” 

Katniss glared at him, “You are such an arrogant prick. I am not even remotely interested in you. Don’t flatter yourself.” 

His eyes flashed darkly and the smug grin disappeared, “Flatter myself? Are you serious? Do you really think I give a shit if you find me attractive, do you really think I give a shit about you at all?” 

Katniss recoiled against the coldness in his tone, the underlying fury, before scowling back at him. “I don’t think you give a shit about anything, _anyone,_ but showing off the sick, twisted training you were given before you even got here.” She made to stand up and leave; her attempt at escaping to somewhere and staying calm failing more with every second near him. But his hand shot out and he dragged her back as he stood too, causing her to lose her footing and stumble into the vault. She tried to shake her wrist loose but he kept a tight grip on her as he spun her to face him. 

“You don’t know anything about me.” He hissed, his face twisted in anger and blue eyes dark. 

Katniss pushed him hard in the chest with her free hand, “And you don’t know anything about me.” 

They stood glaring at each other, Katniss’ wrist still gripped in Cato’s hand, their chests heaving. She wanted him to yell at her, so she could yell back, but they both remained silent and still until he released her hand and strode off, leaving Katniss alone once again, but even more confused and angry than before. 

As she made her way back to her own floor and own bedroom she realised that she was beginning to cross that line she had drawn for herself: now she couldn’t help but wonder who Cato really was and if she could really kill him. 

*

 


	2. Keep In Mind All The Sacrifices I’m Making

**Called Out In The Dark**

**Chapter Two: Keep In Mind All The Sacrifices I’m Making**

_‘I can say I hope it will be worth_

_What I give up,_

_If I could stand up mean_

_For the things that I believe’_

_ Santogold: Les Artistes _

__

 

Katniss barely slept that night; every time her body would try and shut down her mind was bombarded with dreams of the Games, of Prim, of all the things she had been worrying about since the moment she volunteered.

 

She shivered, even though the room was so hot she was sweating, as her mind replayed the last dream that had woken her. She had been trying to sword-fight the dummies in the training room, but the harder she tried the dizzier she became and the heavier her sword was. It was almost becoming impossible for her to stand up and keep swinging when the dummies merged into real, grey, faceless people and started to attack her, pushing her between them with their rubbery torsos and hitting her with their half-arms. She had just fallen, her terror increasing, when suddenly Cato was there, stood over there as he deftly fought them off. He was slaughtering them- just as she had seen him do for real earlier in the day- and inexplicably blood was spraying from their rubber bodies. As one head was lopped off, the blood poured down the shaking grey body and soaked Katniss, even as Cato continued to kill the others.

 

Katniss shook herself, still shaken by the dream. She wiped her sweaty brow and shuddered as she remembered how vividly she had felt the blood spraying on her in the dream. She kicked off the covers and sat up fully.

 

She hated dreaming- she always felt as if she was being tormented by her own mind, as if she was supposed to know what they really meant. She wondered how her sub-conscious could possibly work by having Cato as her rescuer. She snorted, even as she thought about what he had said to her the previous night. What was he trying to prove? Was he playing mind-games with her? Did he know that by saying she didn’t know anything about him that she would further doubt her ability to kill him in cold-blood?

 

She jumped as her bedroom door suddenly opened and the red-headed Avox came in, carrying a pile of freshly-washed clothes. She avoided Katniss’ eyes as she gently placed the pile on the edge of the messy bed and then disappeared straight back out of the room.

 

As she dressed Katniss briefly wondered what would be worse: losing her freedom and her speech to become an Avox, or dying because she refused to kill anyone else in the Games?

 

It was only when she was making her way down the corridor to find breakfast that she suddenly realised that the only two options she had weighed up involved not complying to the Capitol, but what would happen if she rebelled against it.

 

*

 

Effie was the only one who was not silent throughout breakfast. Katniss mostly blanked her out as she wolfed down the sweet, sticky rice dish and dunked rolls into a delicious pot of melted chocolate, trying to ignore the butterflies in her own stomach. She could practically feel the tension wafting off the others as they all pushed food around their plates.

 

Katniss wasn’t stupid- despite what Haymitch seemed to think- she knew that the score the Gamemakers gave her could dictate whether she lived or died. She stopped stuffing the chocolate coated rolls into her mouth, starting to feel sick as she considered it more.

_What the hell am I going to do? What if I miss all my shots? What if they give me a zero?_ Her sudden panic must have shown on her face because when she looked up all eyes were on her.

 

She willed herself to calm down, reminding herself of her shooting in training the previous day, before saying, “So what happens now?” in a voice that barely betrayed her nerves.

 

Haymitch frowned at her warily, before answering. “It starts with District 1- ends with you two. The boys go first, so that means you’ll finish the procedure Katniss. You each get 10 minutes. You go in, you do it, and they excuse you. All done. After that you come straight back here, we’ll eat, you get prepped for your interview and then they release the scores live.”

 

Peeta swallowed and nodded next to Katniss, “Do we have an interview approach?”

 

Katniss stared at him. _Approach? What the hell did he mean by that?_

 

She glanced suspiciously over to Haymitch, who avoided her gaze.

 

“What’s going on? What doe he mean by approach?” she demanded, becoming more annoyed as Peeta and Haymitch glanced at each other awkwardly, before turning to her again.

 

“It’s like what I said last night kid. You want to live- you have to get sponsors. To get sponsors you have to make people like you. You two actually have a good shot of winning this thing, so the more attention we get you, the better that shot becomes.”

 

Katniss stared, “Where are you going with this? What exactly is the grand plan?”

 

Peeta coughed and shifted in his seat, “He wants us to be likeable.”

 

“Yes- I got that. My point is that _you_ are likeable. What does he want me to do?” Katniss snapped back.

 

Haymitch grinned toothily, “So you’re finally catching on? Great.” He paused, and took a gulp of the clear liquid Katniss knew wasn’t water in his glass, “We need you to smile- try it, it won’t hurt- and to talk about something that doesn’t piss you off…If there is anything.”

 

Katniss ignored Haymitch’s last jab and scowled down at her rolls, her mind blank as she tried to think of something she could talk about on live TV easily.

 

“Katniss, what makes you happy?” Peeta’s voice startled her, and his eyes were soft and concerned on her face.

 

She shrugged and Haymitch snorted. “I don’t know. Prim.” She also thought of hunting in the words with Gale but she couldn’t say that. And really, Prim was the only thing that made her happy. She stuffed another roll into the chocolate and popped it straight into her mouth. They all watched her as she chewed and swallowed. “But I’m not telling the Capitol about her- she’s special.”

 

Haymitch slammed his glass back down on the table. “You keep telling us you want to live and I keep telling you how and you’re not damn well doing it! The only thing that makes you even a little bit bearable right now is the fact that you volunteered- you have to highlight that as the thing to make you likeable- to make you the girl everyone wants to win!”

 

Katniss opened her mouth to snap back at him, _Who do you think you are telling me that I’m hardly bearable when you’re an arrogant, disgusting old drunk who let all your other tributes die?!_

But Peeta spoke up first, “Katniss, we all know you love Prim more than anything in the world. So you _have_ to talk about her.” He raised his hands in surrender as Katniss turned her glare on him, “We’ve all seen your face when you talk about her. You’ll do brilliant if you can do that tonight.”

 

Katniss’ fury was softened by Peeta’s gentleness and even Haymitch quietened.

 

“He’s right Katniss.” Cinna’s deep voice startled her eyes from Peeta, “You have to talk about Prim.”

 

She glanced around the table, all eyes on her warily, and looked to Cinna again last. He nodded imperceptibly and she knew she could trust him.

 

She sighed, “Fine. I’ll talk about Prim.”

 

Peeta grinned next to her, “Great! You’ll be great!”

 

Katniss smiled back, but was only confused by his enthusiasm. And as she caught the look on Haymitch’s face she knew she wasn’t the only one.

 

But it was only when Cinna led her away to her room to get her ready for the scoring that she realised Peeta had said nothing about his own interview approach.

 

*

 

Katniss and Cinna were both silent as they walked to the waiting area. Haymitch, Effie, Portia and Peeta were already there, and Katniss was thankful that they remained quiet.

 

There was only a few more seconds of silence when Haymitch grunted, “Alright Peeta. You’re up.”

 

Peeta nodded stiffly and everyone echoed a “good luck” as Haymitch led him through the corridor to the Gamemaker’s room.

 

They waited in silence, and time seemed to tick by incredibly slowly.

 

And for some reason, Cato inexplicably popped into Katniss’ head and she wondered how well he had done. She remembered being caught starting at him the night before in the training room, and she was so frustrated with herself for thinking of her opponent right now, and more frustrated with herself for letting herself be drawn to him in the first place. It’s not as if she had never seen a handsome man before- she wasn’t so ignorant as to not notice Gale’s handsomeness or to even not notice that Peeta was attractive too. But something about Cato was different and she hated herself for noticing that.

 

But suddenly all thoughts of him were going as Haymitch and Peeta reappeared.

 

“Are you ok?” she immediately asked as Peeta looked both angry and upset, his cheeks pink and eyes dark.

 

He nodded stiffly and said “Good luck,” his voice wavering.

 

Cinna squeezed her arm encouragingly as Effie beamed next to her, and then Haymitch was leading her away.

 

“You know what to do,” he said gruffly as they reached the doors to the Gamemaker’s room, “Just do it properly kiddo.”

 

His eyes were intent on her face and it was making her more nervous so she could only nod before the door opened and she was ushered in.

 

She realised immediately why Peeta had looked the way he did.

 

The Gamemakers' completely ignored her as she made her way to the centre of the room. They were laughing amongst themselves, stuffing their faces and drinking wine greedily.

 

_Are they drunk?_ Katniss thought furiously. She wanted to yell at him, to wave her arms until they acknowledged her but she knew it would do nothing to help her scoring chances. Still, she had to do something whilst she was in here so she picked up the nearest bow and arrow from the weapon’s station and lined herself up opposite a target. Her hands shook and her shot went wide, but even as she glanced around she knew no-one was watching.

 

And then she was irate. She thought of Peeta- had they done the same to him? And she thought of Cato- had they ignored him? She doubted it, and she doubted he would let them.

 

Suddenly, she wanted to infuriate them as much as they had her. She wanted them to know that what they were doing – _all_ of what they were doing- was wrong. She spotted the pig roasting on the spit, an apple stuffed in its mouth, and before she could even think it through thoroughly, she had loaded her bow again and was aiming her next shot into the midst of the drunk Gamemakers.

 

Some of them suddenly spotted her and started to panic, shrieking and trying to shove others out of their way. But there was no time, she let the arrow loose and watched with satisfaction as the Gamemakers froze, or shouted, in horror and then were silent as it flew past them all and straight through the apple, neatly pinning it to the wall behind them.

 

They all turned to her and she stood still before them for a moment, shaking with rage, before she curtsied sardonically. “Thank you for your consideration.”

 

And then she strode out, the reality of what she had done hitting her the moment she was out of the room, and she broke into a run, barrelling past the waiting Haymitch and bolting past the others, slamming herself into the lift and punching the first button her fist connected with.

 

_What have I done?_ She thought, aghast. _What have I done?_

 

She only had seconds to herself though as the lift door pinged open and stood facing her, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise at the sight of her, was Cato.

 

And she couldn’t help herself, she was unable to stop it- no matter how much she wanted to – she whimpered aloud in her panic.

 

Immediately Cato’s look of surprise melted into one of disdainful amusement. “You choked, didn’t you?”

 

Katniss’ panic subsided as her humiliation mixed with anger. “You wish.” She scowled, trying to push past him to get off the elevator as he stepped on.

 

But his hand shot out and enclosed around her upper arm swiftly, and he tugged her back as the doors slid shut.

 

“The Girl-on-Fire, the big competition,” his voice was laced with derision, “and you choked. I knew you couldn’t do it.”  He sneered at her and chuckled, dropping her arm.

 

“You think you have this all in the bag don’t you?” she sneered back at him, “But tell me, how do you think you’re going to live with yourself when you’ve murdered your way to glory?”

 

Cato’s eyes narrowed and he pushed himself off the back wall of the elevator, towering over her. “You think you’re better than me? You think that because I know what to do to win that you’re better than me?” he moved closer to her still, until Katniss was almost pressed up against the doors of the elevator. “Then tell me, how do you intend on surviving without _murdering_ anyone yourself?”

 

Katniss froze at his words; he had asked her exactly what she had asked herself a million times and she knew she had no answer.

 

Cato sneered again and stepped back, away from her, “Good luck getting back to your little sister… because if you can’t do the job, maybe she would have been better off coming. Even though I could crush her with one hand.”

 

“Don’t!” she shrieked, furious again, launching herself at him and shoving him so hard he actually stumbled back. “Don’t talk about my sister.”

 

“Sensitive much? No wonder you choked you little...”

 

But he never finished his sentence for Katniss swung her arm around, her pointed elbow connecting with his face, causing them both to let out a sound of pain and surprise.

 

Seconds later the elevator doors opened again and Katniss stepped out, catching sight of Cato cradling his face, feeling a strange mixture of satisfaction and terror.

 

“You’ll pay for that girl-on-fire.” He snarled as the doors slid shut.

 

And she knew she would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review x


	3. You Are The Latest Contender

**Called Out In The Dark**

**Chapter Three: You Are The Latest Contender**

_This fire is out of control,_

_I'm going to burn this city,_

_Burn this city.  
_

_ Franz Ferdinand: This Fire _

__

__

It was odd how she quickly she got used to standing naked in front of the near-strangers that composed her prep team.

 

As they slathered her in various colourful lotions and clays, ordered her into different baths and then sat her, draped in a soft robe, to do her make-up Katniss finally let herself fully calm down.

 

Coming back and telling Haymitch and the others what she had done to the Gamemakers had been as unpleasant as Katniss had expected. Effie had burst into tears straightaway, and Haymitch had been furious. Peeta and Cinna had give her similar looks of admiration mixed with despair. They had spent a good hour over lunch debating it, so Katniss decided against telling them about her run-in with Cato.

 

She was keeping her mind blissfully blank now though as the prep team bustled and chattered around her. It was only when she heard Cato’s name mentioned that she actually looked at them properly for the first time.

 

“Oh, do you think so too Katniss? He really is gorgeous isn’t he?” Octavia grinned down at her, fluttering her hand over her face girlishly.

 

Flavia laughed, “We think he’s just like another Finnick Odair- he’ll definitely be the ladies’ favourite.”

 

Katniss frowned. Did she really need to be reminded of how attractive Cato was? Was it fair that people would swoon over him even as he mercilessly killed the other tributes?

 

“Don’t you know who Finnick Odair is Katniss?” Octavia gasped, clearly mistaking her expression of annoyance for one of confusion.

 

She didn’t even need to correct her as Octavia excitedly explained that the beautiful Finnick had won the games when he was 14, ten years ago.

 

Katniss already knew all of this so she tried to simply ignore them again, but now she all she could think of instead was Cato. She knew he’d be dying to get her back in someway over the blow she had dealt him in the lift earlier. She was wondering exactly what he may be planning for her when Cinna came in to the bedroom and the prep team started excitedly fussing over her mysterious interview outfit.

 

*

_‘This is the calm before the storm Katniss.’_ Cinna’s words reverberated around hr head as she stood anxiously next to Peeta in the elevator.

 

What did he mean? Was he telling her to be calm now? Or was he warning her worse was to come? Well if it was the latter, she was well aware of that. She was startled out of her thoughts though by Peeta.

 

“You look amazing.”

 

She glanced over at him in surprise and he immediately flushed red and avoided her gaze.

 

“Thanks.” She said slowly. She stared at him for a while longer before looking away again. He was an odd one; she couldn’t figure out his angle. Did he even have one? Was he really so naïve and so nice? Or was there more to him that meets the eye? Katniss knew- from the bread experience when she was a child- that he was a good person. Why else would he have given her the bread, and perhaps even deliberately burnt it to do so? She was trying to figure it out when the lift door slid open and suddenly all eyes were on her and Peeta as they stepped out to join the other waiting tributes.

 

She felt, rather than saw, Cato’s eyes on her immediately and she forced herself to look at him.

 

Octavia was right- he would be the ladies’ favourite. His stylist had been quite clever; he was the only male tribute dressed in a simple black suit. He looked classic, mature; he looked like a man of power.

 

They stared at each other and Katniss realised he had covered up the bruise she had given him. His eyes moved slowly over her and she felt more self-conscious than ever. The dress that Cinna had designed for her was daring and glamorous, and she felt out of place in it. The red, satiny material clung to her body, and had a long tail which Cinna had warned her had more than meets the eye to it.

 

Cato’s eyes stayed on her for a while, but she made herself be still, determined not to let a tremor let him think she was afraid or wary. He looked up at her again, his face impassive, before he turning his back to her completely.

 

She didn’t realise she’d been holding her breath until it all whooshed out of her a second later.

 

*

 

Katniss could barely control her hisses of annoyance as Cato told Caesar Flickerman how ‘honoured’ he was to be the District Two tribute in his last year in the reaping. She scowled as he told Caesar how proud he was of his ‘supportive’ District.

 

_Do you really mean any of this?_ She wondered as she scrutinised his face, calm and controlled under the glare of the lights.

 

She flinched as the crowd screamed at his words and Caesar chuckled, before starting on his next question.

 

“So Cato, I’ve got to ask- as I’m positive every girl in Panem is dying to know- is there a special someone in your life?”

 

Cato smirked and Katniss scowled. _I doubt anyone is special to you_ , she thought angrily, even as her stomach was churning as they waited for his answer.

 

Eventually, he shook his head. “No. Unfortunately not. Maybe after the Games I’ll find someone.” His eyes flickered briefly towards the room where the other tributes were waiting and Katniss wondered if he was looking for Clove.

 

She flinched again at the thought, _Cato and Clove_? She studied Cato’s tiny District partner, who still looked bored. _Well, I suppose they’re vicious and arrogant enough for each other._

The audiences screams were overwhelming now and Katniss could barely hear Caesar’s words of encouragement before Cato sauntered off the stage, looking like he belonged there.

 

As Caesar introduced Clove to the crowd, Katniss tried to mentally piece together the different sides of Cato she kept seeing. He gave off the impression that he fully believed in the glory of the games and gave no indication of guilt, fear or remorse for what would happen in the arena.

 

So then why had he been so angry with her on the two occasions she had accused him of exactly that? Did he actually think it was as barbaric as she did, but knew that his only chance of surviving was to do it anyway? Or was he simply a born-and-bred Capitol-worshipping killer?

 

And what Katniss struggled with the most was the thought that if it was the former, then it meant he was more like her than she would ever want to admit.

 

*

 

Katniss was still in shock after Peeta’s interview when she was striding on stage and being kissed on both cheeks by Caesar. He told her how ‘stunning’ she looked and she remembered that Cinna had told her to twirl. She was still spinning round, Peeta’s comments running through her mind, when she realised Caesar and the audience were beginning to shout in glee and admiration. She glanced down and saw that the flared tail of her dress was alight with glittering flames.

 

She continued to twirl, trying to remain calm as she remembered the flames Cinna had used on her and Peeta’s opening outfits, before coming to a stop a few seconds later, glancing down to see the flames had diminished and the tail of her dress was no longer there: it was now knee-length at the front and dipping back to ankle-length at the back; the hem still burning like embers. She caught Cinna’s eye and tried to tell him silently how amazing it was, before Caesar was clapping wildly next to her.

 

“The infamous Girl On Fire! Another unforgettable entrance for an unforgettable tribute!”

 

Katniss forced herself to smile back at him as he lead her to the plush seats for the interview.

 

“And Katniss, you are already one of our most fascinating tributes ever… after volunteering for your sister, to your amazing opening ceremony appearance, and now after Peeta’s revealing comments… you’re capturing all of Panem’s attention. How are you feeling?”

 

Katniss allowed herself to draw a breath and remembered Cinna’s tips before answering. _‘Be yourself Katniss- aloof but alluring, mysterious but fierce, honest but strong. That’s you. So go and show them that.’_

So she was as honest as she could be, “I’m very flattered by the kindness I’ve been shown here in the Capitol so far by everyone I’ve met. And I’m so grateful I was able to volunteer in my sister’s place to keep her safe at home.”

 

Caesar nodded emphatically, “And I am positive that she and your mother and all of District 12 are very proud of you. Tell us, how different is the Capitol to your District 12 life, what’s your favourite thing so far?”

 

And she answered honestly again, “The lamb stew! Or the chocolate pots… the food is amazing.” She tried to make a joke of it, and thankfully everyone laughed.

 

Caesar grinned, delighted, “Well I’m very glad to hear that… the lamb stew is a favourite of mine too! Now, I have to ask, were you surprised by Peeta’s comments tonight? Did you know that was how your peers at home saw you?” His face was serious, but earnest now, and Katniss swallowed hard and blushed as she remembered Peeta telling Caesar how honoured he was to be here with her, ‘because everyone in school admires her so much’.

 

She smiled awkwardly and ducked her head a little, trying to gather her thoughts enough to answer smartly. “Honestly, Caesar,” she paused and he nodded eagerly. “I was stunned. I guess I’ve never really considered other people at school because all I’ve focused on is my family. I spend all of my time trying to make Prim’s life happy that I’ve never really had any friends… But I am so touched that there are people at home who think so highly of me.”

 

Caesar shook his head in admiration, “Katniss, is your sister your whole life?”

 

Katniss swallowed again, and looked up at Cinna again for reassurance. He nodded and smiled. She looked back to Caesar and thought of Prim and answered with all honesty.

“Yes.” She smiled slightly, “Prim is the most special person you could ever meet. She’s the kindest, sweetest, most beautiful person alive. I love her more than anything and I want her to have the best, happiest life I can give her.”

 

There was silence until one woman in the audience burst into tears and Caesar himself sniffed into a handkerchief as the audience cheered wildly.

 

Caesar tucked the handkerchief away and leaned forward to clutch at Katniss’ hand. “You must be the best sibling a person could ask for. I’m positive Prim misses you very much.” He leant back and Katniss smiled gratefully at him.

 

“And I have, my dear Girl-On-Fire, one last question for you. It’s been buzzing around my head since we spoke to the lovely Peeta...” he paused and Katniss had to contain a grimace as she knew what was coming. “Did you know you have a male fanclub at home too? Or are you as unaware of your allure to the boys as you have been to the admiration of your peers?”

 

Katniss thought her face must be on fire with embarrassment.

 

“And here’s the golden question… is there any lucky boy who’s caught your eye?” Caesar finished, smiling with encouragement and playfulness.

 

And causing her a moment of sheer shock, Cato popped into her mind. She shook her head vociferously as if trying to shake him out. “No,” she managed to get out in her shock. “No I didn’t know, I mean,” she paused and willed herself to not stutter or blush anymore _. Be calm_ , she told herself.

 

“I’m very independent and focused,” she continued, her voice now confident and strong, “Boys have never really crossed my mind before.”

 

Caesar’s grin widened, “But have they now?”

 

Katniss shrugged elegantly but was silently begging him to stop. “I guess facing death might change that. But right now I’m focused on winning and getting home to Prim.”

 

Caesar nodded heartily, “And I wish you all the best of luck- I am convinced you will be seeing your sister again very soon!” He beamed again as he stood up and she followed suit.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, The Girl-On-Fire!”

 

Katniss smiled confidently as the audience screamed and stamped, and she twirled one last time as Cinna had told her too, letting out a gasp herself as fireworks flew from the shortened hem into the delighted crowd.

 

Caesar clapped again next to her, before kissing her on both cheeks as the audience screamed even louder.

 

She waved as she strode off stage, desperately wanting to run and hide, and as soon as she was out of sight she belted into the elevator that would take her to the banquet room where the others’ were waiting. She squeezed her eyes together briefly and wished she could have more time to arrange her thoughts.

 

What would she say to Peeta now? Why had he said all those things about her? She was feeling torn between furious- was he playing games with her? - and sheer confusion.

 

But more than anything, she was dreading seeing Cato again.


	4. It's An Endless Circle Of Poison

**Called Out In The Dark**

**Chapter Four: It’s An Endless Circle of Poison**

****

_Something's on your chest_

_B_ _etter get it off._

_There'll be no one left when we set it off_

_We ain't gonna take it no more._  

_ N.E.R.D: Rock Star _

__

 

“Katniss, were you planning on talking to me at all tonight?” Peeta appeared next to her, his eyes searching her face warily as she looked at him for the first time since she had entered the banquet room.

She still hadn’t decided how she felt about his interview comments, and seeing him now, eyeing her cautiously, face full of concern, wasn’t helping. “No.”

He immediately looked both downcast and understanding, “Ok.” He made to leave, before he turned around again, “I didn’t mean to upset you, or annoy you. I just answered the question honestly. I guess I kinda thought it’d help both our cases if they thought we were friends, or something.” 

Katniss frowned, “Why?” She was getting angry again now, and it was only the fact that the other tributes were around that was stopping her violently demanding to know what game he was playing.

“Katniss, I know you think I have some sort of secret motive here, but I don’t. I just…” he ran a hand through his hair, and looked at her awkwardly, as if trying to communicate his thoughts with his kind, blue eyes. Katniss had no idea what he meant though so she looked back at him blankly. “It’s just that if I don’t survive this then I want you to.”

Katniss’ frown disappeared in her surprise. She hadn’t even thought of that. _Wow,  I’ve never once worried about Peeta._ Her stomach churned a little at the thought and she felt immensely guilty all of a sudden. “Ok. I get that.” She tried to smile at him to let him know he was forgiven, but suddenly Caesar Flickerman was striding back on stage and the tributes’ and the audience’s attention was back on him again.

The tributes and their mentors all made their way to the viewing platform again, and Katniss veered away from Peeta and the others, finding a space near the edge, hoping she could escape more easily from there if her score was as bad as she was expecting. She couldn’t bear to look at Cato’s smug face if she got a One. But all of a sudden someone was standing right behind her, and a hard chest was pressed against her back as two strong arms reached around either side of her to hold onto the railing.

She knew instantly that it was Cato who had trapped her in his personal space and if it hadn’t been for the lights and camera suddenly panning past them she would have stomped on his foot hard enough to break his toe. Instead, she remained silent and still, hating the way his chest’s warmth was heating up her back and how she couldn’t ignore how nice he smelt.

She could barely concentrate on Caesar’s words as she tried to press her body into the railings to prevent any body contact with Cato, but he seemed to relish her discomfort for he pressed closer still. She was completely trapped now between the metal rail overlooking the stage, and his hard body. She had never been so close to a boy before and she could feel the embarrassment, and another strange, tingling feeling in her stomach churning up as she realised her bottom was pressed directly into his groin and his arms were brushing the sides of her breasts.

“Enjoying yourself Girl-On-Fire?” he was suddenly whispering in her ear and his breath was hot on her neck.

“Get off of me.” She hissed back, barely able to keep her voice from trembling. The longer she stayed pressed against him, the hotter and stranger she felt. She started to mentally beat herself as she was torn between wanting him to touch her more, and wanting to throw herself off the balcony to get away from him. _What’s wrong with me? This is Cato- the District Two Career who can’t wait to kill me and everyone else on this balcony. Why am I feeling like this?_ She couldn’t even understand how she was feeling and she hated him even more when he chuckled lightly, his chin brushing her cheekbone.

“Scared about being the first tribute to get a zero? Or do you think that lover-boy’s comments will score you some bonus points?”

“Fuck off.” Katniss could only respond quietly, unable to think straight enough to give a more eloquent retort.

He laughed again, but was silent as Caesar begun to explain that the scores were ready to be released. She felt him tense behind her, and his lack of attention on her helped her get her own focus back.

She couldn’t completely zone out the topsy-turvy feeling in her stomach but she calmed herself down enough to listen to the District One Career’s scores with intent. The boy, Marvel, scored an 8 and the girl, Glimmer, a rather average 6. Then Cato’s face appeared on the giant screen and he was given an outstanding 10. The crowd screamed in excitement and Cato’s body relaxed slightly behind her. “Let’s see you beat that.” He whispered in her ear, pushing himself into her even closer still. 

Katniss’ breath caught in her throat as he curled one arm around her front, his fingers now grazing the underside of her breast. She could have sworn that he let out a low groan behind her too but she was feeling too irate and vulnerable and confused to do anything but stay frozen. 

They were both silent, still pressed together, until Peeta’s score came up and he reached an 8 too. Katniss was surprised and pleased for him, but felt those two emotions only briefly as nausea suddenly swamped her. _Oh shit, here comes my zero and I’m stuck with fucking Cato._  

And then her face was appearing on the giant screen and her score… 11! She’d got 11… she’d got the highest score… higher than Cato.

And suddenly he was spinning her around and pushing her backwards and she was flat against the side wall of the balcony, his eyes furious on her, hands clutching at her elbows and hips pressed into hers.

“You little bitch; you fucked with my head on purpose didn’t you? You pretended you choked? How’d you get your eleven?” he was near shaking with rage and Katniss’ brief elation was replaced with fear and fury. “You fucked with my head on purpose didn’t you?” he repeated.

“Get off of me.” She pushed her weight against him, flopping forwards against his chest with her own, still feeling breathless at the contact but her increasing anger now taking reign. “Get the fuck off of me you paranoid twat.”

He let go of her then, and Katniss could see Haymitch and Peeta making their way over, faces alight with joy and confusion. Katniss didn’t know if Cato knew they were coming, but suddenly he was vanishing out of her view and Haymitch was embracing her, stinking of alcohol.

“Eleven! Best score ever! Nice one sweetheart, knew you could do it! And good interview too… awesome. Awesome.” He was leaning against her heavily and Katniss, though incredibly relieved, worried at how drunk he was already.

She glanced at Peeta over Haymitch’s shoulder and he smiled, “Well done Katniss.” He leant over and pulled Haymitch upright. “They obviously appreciated your fire.”

She shrugged as they walked Haymitch to the bar where Effie, Cinna and Portia were waiting, the former beaming almost uncontrollably. “Thanks. You did well too.”

She didn’t have time to hear his response as Effie leapt forward and hugged her, “Oh Katniss! That’s the best score ever! Well done! Well done! Oh this is _such_ good news for you… you’ll get the most amazing sponsors now!”

Katniss grinned but rolled her eyes as Portia and Cinna embraced her too, the latter whispering, “Your interview was perfect,” in her ear too.

“I love my dress,” she told him as they each filled up a plate at the banquet table. “You’ve got such an amazing talent Cinna.” 

He smiled at her, “I know. But I have someone amazing to create for. You’re a good muse Katniss.”

She snorted, “You’ve got to be joking.” She piled her plate with some garlicky-smelling chicken breasts and turned back to see Cinna looking at her intently.

“Katniss, I’m a hundred per cent serious. You’ve done more for some people then you will ever know. You’re an icon now.” 

And there was a look- an unreadable and heart-stopping look- in his eyes that let Katniss know, despite her confusion and shock, that his comment was completely true.

He left her there then, gawping, making his way over to where Portia and Peeta were examining the beautifully decorated cakes. 

And as Katniss bit into one of the delicious chicken breast she begun to wonder exactly what all the confusing and mysterious remarks Cinna kept making to her really meant.

 

*

 

For the rest of the night Katniss avoided even looking at Cato and made small talk with Peeta, Portia and Cinna. She was feeling almost relaxed now she knew she had an eleven- and therefore a huge chance of getting sponsors. She couldn’t shake the feeling that Cato’s eyes were on her often, but she focused on listening to Peeta’s stories about his cake-decorating, trying to silently make amends with him for her reaction to his interview efforts. 

“So, wait, you make them all yourself?” she asked, butting in as he was in the middle of explaining to Portia and Cinna how he mixed different dyes to create a perfect butter-yellow coloured icing.

He looked at her, amused, and nodded. “Yeah… none of my family are really artistic but me. I mean,” he shrugged modestly, “I’m not great, but I like it… and I’m getting better.” 

Katniss stared at him, stunned, “So the cookies that go in your window in autumn… you ice them?” 

She and Prim had always loved those cookies- she had bought them for them once as a treat after trading a massive turkey with Sal at the hob; they were delicious, but more than anything they were _beautiful_. Prim had refused to eat hers because there was a red hibiscus flower decorated on it so perfectly. 

Peeta looked at her even more intently now, his face curious, and nodded. “Yes, those are what I started with. I’ve been doing them for a few years." 

And before she could stop herself she blurted out, “I love them. I mean, Prim and me,” she could feel herself blushing as Peeta stared even more, “we love them. I buy them for us sometimes… but she won’t eat them. She always say’s they’re too beautiful, too full of hope…” she paused, and realising how sappy she sounded she added, “or something,” more casually at the end, before shrugging and avoiding Peeta’s gaze by focusing on popping another olive in her mouth. 

“Wow,” Peeta’s voice was low, and something in the way his voice sounded was enough to make Portia and Cinna leave the two tributes alone. 

They were both silent for a minute, when Peeta said, hesitant, “Katniss?...” he paused again and she looked up at him. “Did you… I mean, did you ever notice me in school?" 

His face was suddenly so vulnerable, so open and so confusing that Katniss wanted the ground to swallow her up. _How can I possibly answer that?_ Her face must have betrayed her conflicting emotions because Peeta’s face became more determined. 

“Be honest, please. I’d really like to know.” 

And suddenly she couldn’t deny him the truth; no matter if she believed that he truly was trying to help them both with his interview. “Ok,” she sucked in a breath and looked him square in the face, “I noticed you. I noticed you had a lot of friends and always looked healthy. But I didn’t really pay much attention- not until you gave me the bread that time.” She stopped at the memory and they both looked away awkwardly, “After that I felt like you were always in my line of sight. It was like you were there all the time, and I had this constant reminder that I owed you.” 

She looked away again, “I think you actually saved my life that day.” She said quietly, almost so quiet it was like she hadn’t even said it aloud. But she had. 

She looked back and Peeta’s face was unreadable, “You don’t owe me anything Katniss.” He swallowed then and glanced down and Katniss couldn’t figure out how he had reacted- was he mad at her now? Was he upset? 

“I’m going to check up on Haymitch,” he scratched his neck and looked at her again, still unreadable, “You should try one of the chocolate cakes. They’re great.” 

And then he was walking away from her stiffly. Katniss barely had time to debate whether or not to follow him when someone else appeared in her line of vision. 

“Having fun with lover-boy?” It was Cato, and he looked angrier than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for any readers so far. Please keep at it!


	5. Monster, How Should I Feel?

**Called Out In The Dark**

**Chapter Five: Monster, How Should I Feel?**

_Try to find out_

_What makes you tick,_

_As I lie down,_

_Sore and sick._

_Breaking Benjamin: The Diary of Jane_

 

“What is your problem?” Katniss scowled at him, glancing over his shoulder to find her escape routes. He shifted closer to her, blocking her view further, as if he knew exactly what she was doing.

“How did you get your eleven?” he demanded, his anger still evident but more controlled than earlier.

She stared at him, “Seriously, what is wrong with you?”

He narrowed his eyes dangerously, “Don’t push me. Just tell me- how did you get your eleven?”

Katniss was tempted to tell him- to test his reaction, to test him. Would he find it appalling and idiotic, or would be impressed? What does it matter either way? She thought, why won’t he leave me alone? But she didn’t, she didn’t want to admit what had happened; that she really thought she had choked. Let him think she was playing mind games; let him think she was more dangerous than he was. So she smiled coldly at him. “You’ll find out in the arena.”

He hissed, and his body seemed to swell as he puffed up his muscular chest and arms. He bent his head down and Katniss fought the urge to turn and flee; she did not want to be trapped by him again. “Is that a threat? You really think that you can beat me?” he chuckled darkly, “Do you really think you can kill me?” Katniss refused to tear her eyes away from him, but remained silent. Honestly, she didn’t know if she could. She didn’t know if she could kill anyone.

“Do you think you could kill me?” The question- quiet and soft- popped out of her mouth before she’d even thought it properly, and it startled them both.

Cato flinched away from her, brow furrowed. “What?” he snapped, “Shut up. I’m _ready_ for this.”

But Katniss saw the look on his face and she suddenly felt sick. He was brutal; she knew that, and he was trained for this. But he was still human- he was still vulnerable. _Everyone was vulnerable_. And she had asked him something he clearly hadn’t even thought himself. 

“You haven’t thought it through Cato,” it was the first time she’d ever used his name and she couldn’t understand why her voice was still so soft, “you’re too busy convincing yourself that the rest of us won’t be able to do it that you haven’t thought about whether you really can…” she paused and looked at him; his brow still furrowed furiously, body tense, but his eyes… they were locked on her face like he couldn’t look away. “Do you really think you could kill me?” 

He was silent, and Katniss waited, heart racing, but before he could respond his mentor-  a massive, dark-haired man that Katniss remembered was called Brutus – grabbed Cato’s shoulders roughly and tugged him away, giving Katniss a long and calculating look as he strode off with Cato. 

She shivered as she was left alone, and wondered what about Cato had her feeling so mixed up. She hadn’t looked at the other tributes and wondered about their lives and their true mentality. Why him? She watched as Brutus led Cato back towards Clove and the rest of the District 2 team and begun to realise that the two of them had started something- a competition, a rivalry, she didn’t really know what- but that eventually one of them would have to finish it. And there was only one way to do that- one of them would have to kill the other.

 

*

 

Katniss climbed into the elevator with Peeta silently, and leant against the wall as Peeta pushed the button to slide the doors shut. They were both quiet as it shot through the other floors up to theirs but Katniss had a feeling that Peeta wanted to speak.

“What’s going on with you and Cato?” he suddenly asked. 

Katniss started, this was not what she was expecting. “What?” 

Peeta’s face was hard as he looked at her, “I’ve seen him- looking at you, following you around, I saw him talking to you at the Banquet. What’s going on?” His voice was low and angry and Katniss wanted to tell him to butt out of her business; he had no right to be watching her so intently… in fact, why was he? 

“Why exactly are you so concerned with what’s going on?” she asked sharply, eyes on his, demanding the truth. 

He frowned back at her, but with less anger in his eyes now as he spoke, “I was worried Katniss. Cato’s not the kind of person you want to be messing around with- he’s dangerous. If he has an issue with you; you need to stay out of his way.” 

And there it was- that note of concern in his voice _again_. Katniss couldn’t figure it out; what was Peeta doing? He was acting as if all he was worried about was her; as if he _cared_ about her. Didn’t he realise that when they were in the arena none of this would matter? Didn’t he realise that in the arena he’d be expected to kill her given the chance? 

“Don’t worry about me Peeta. Worry about yourself. We’ll be in the arena tomorrow.” 

He looked back at her strangely, “Katniss, I,” he paused again and the lift doors slid open. She waited expectantly but he merely motioned her to get out first. 

She strode to the living room; knowing that Haymitch and the others would want to speak to them briefly before bed. 

They were all sat on the large leather sofas, talking quietly. When Katniss entered the room, they went suspiciously silent. 

“What’s going on?” she asked, scowling at them all. Peeta came in behind her. 

Haymitch laughed loudly, “Have a fun night sweetheart? Ready for tomorrow now?” 

Effie huffed next to him, “Why don’t you both come in and we’ll get you a hot drink before bed?” 

Katniss scowled at Haymitch as she made her way over to the comfy armchair opposite the couch. Peeta perched on the table opposite them all, looking miserable. 

Effie pressed a few buttons on the remote of the sofa and a tray popped out, minutes later, effortlessly holding two steaming cups of hot chocolate. 

She handed one to Katniss and then to Peeta and they drunk in silence. It was incredibly awkward and Katniss could feel herself getting angry.

“You should have kept us separated.” she said suddenly. She slammed down her cup. “Why did you make us stick together? This is stupid- we’re going into the arena tomorrow and Peeta and I have been playing big happy family with you guys when the reality is that one day in there we might have to try and kill each other!” she was yelling by the end of it and Effie recoiled slightly into the sofa. 

Haymitch glared at her, “We played the angle that got you both the centre of attention. You may not like it, but it’s already happened now. You two are two of the hottest pieces of action in the Capitol right now and that’s going to get you some serious sponsorship.” 

Katniss glared back at him and made to argue but Peeta butted in, “He’s right Katniss. You’re in a good position now; everyone wants to see the Girl On Fire do well- you might even be the favourite.” He reached over to her and took a light hold of her hand. “And there’s no way I’m going to hurt you.” 

Katniss pulled herself roughly from his grip, “I’m fed up of this! What is wrong with you?!” she was up and shouting at him now, “I don’t know what the hell you’re playing at- or if you’re really this damn nice in reality- but it has to stop! You really think that when it comes down to it that we’ll get in the arena and not be in a position where we might have to fight each other?! And if that happens Peeta, what are you going to do? You really think you’ll just forget about survival that easily?!” 

And then Peeta was up in his feet too and he was yelling back at her and Katniss was so startled to see him- normally so laid-back and charming- so angry that she didn’t quite catch the start of his rant. 

“… I’m not going to go down without a fight- but you’re different Katniss! I couldn’t _ever_ hurt you! I’m not playing games- I’ve never been anything but honest to you since I got here- I don’t mind dying in that arena if I die as myself, and if you’re the one who goes home! That’s all I want Katniss!” 

She was stunned into silence. He was shaking in front of her, and he looked as if he wanted to say more, as if there was something else trying to burst out. He locked his eyes on her and she was swamped with guilt and confusion at the heart-broken look in them. There was a few moments of this, the two of them staring at each other, Katniss unable to figure out what the hell was going on with Peeta, when Haymitch stood up.

“Enough. Neither of you need to be doing this right now. Katniss is right, tomorrow will change everything. You both need to just forget everything but surviving.” He put a hand on both of their shoulders. “Get out of the Cornucopia as fast as you can; you don’t want to risk a fight with the Careers that early. Get to water as soon as possible. And find somewhere high, dry and safe to set up camp. Avoid conflict for as long as you can.” He paused and looked at Katniss directly, his green eyes dark, “and stay alive.”

She swallowed and nodded tightly, before turning on her heel and stalking to her room. 

She ripped the dress straight off and washed the make-up off her face vigorously. _What the hell was Peeta talking about? It’s like he’s resigned himself to dying- like he wants to die so I’ll survive?_ She chucked her face towel angrily on the floor. _Nobody is that self-sacrificing, or that stupid! What is he doing? He can’t be serious? Is this really all a big game… is he making me think that he’s some altruistic nice boy who saved my life once so that when it gets to the Games I’ll choke or something?_

She screamed furiously and swiped her bathroom counter with her arms- flinging all the glass bottles and ornaments onto the floor and watching them smash in her rage.

She was so angry; so angry with Peeta, with Haymitch, with herself, with Cato. What was happening to her? Why was she feeling so confused about everything and everyone? The more she wanted to be hard and cold and go out there and kill as if it was no more than a hunting trip with Gale, the more she doubted her ability to do so. Everything was messing with her head. She thought about Peeta’s speech and was still unable to decide if he was being honest or not; she thought about how she would feel in the arena, now, if she was faced with fighting him. She cried out again in frustration and climbed into bed, beating the pillows with her fists. 

She could feel tears burning in her eyes. _I want go home_ , she thought, _I wish this had never happened. How am I ever going to get back to Prim now? I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to kill anyone. How am I going to survive?_

She curled under the sheets and wept for herself, for Prim, for all the other tributes before her and with her now. _How am I going to do this?_ And before she fell asleep, she thought of Cato, and of how strange she had felt trapped in his arms and she wondered how he was feeling right now, before realising – her heart dropping to her stomach- that the next time she would see him, the next time they would touch, would be the moment where one of them would die.

And the thought made her cry harder than before.

* * *

**Thanks for all readers and reviewers so far- please keep reading and commenting! X**


	6. Did You Come Here To Watch Me Burn?

**Called Out In The Dark**

**Chapter Six: Did You Come Here To Watch Me Burn?**

_How low are you willing to go,_

_before you reach all your selfish goals._

_Punch line after punch line,_

_leaving us sore, leaving us sore._

_ Jose Gonzalez: How Low _

__

“Remember what Haymitch said Katniss; get out of the Cornucopia as fast as you can, get water and find somewhere dry and safe.” Cinna said firmly as he led her to the basement chamber of the arena where Katniss knew she would find the pod that would take her up to the arena when it was time.

 

She could barely speak, still exhausted from her troubled sleep the night before, and nerves were wracking her body.

 

Once they were inside, Cinna took out the clothes that Katniss – and the other tributes- would have to wear in the arena. They included some lightweight cotton camel trousers, a thin white strappy top, brown, soft leather boots, woolly grey socks, and a burgundy wool tunic and a dark brown, satin-like material jacket.

 

“These are all pretty lightweight clothes but will keep any warmth in well.” Cinna said softly as he helped Katniss pull them on. He bent down to pull her boots on for her and Katniss could only stared blankly at the top of his head.

 

This is it- in less than five minutes she would be ascending into the arena; she would be starting in the Hunger Games.

 

Cinna stood up and held her face gently in his hands, “Listen to me Katniss,” his voice was very strong and Katniss looked at him curiously, “this is very important so you must listen to me properly.”

 

She nodded her assent.

 

“The most important thing you must do is stay alive. Don’t think about killing, don’t think about the Games, just get somewhere safe and survive- I know you know how to do that, I know you know how to get food and water. Use your skills and keep yourself safe.” There was something in his voice that made Katniss sure that he was trying to tell her something else underneath his tips.

 

But the buzzer sounded and the tube’s doors slid open, and suddenly Cinna was hugging her tightly and helping her in.

 

“It won’t be long Katniss.” He said, his face concerned but urging. The doors slid shut and Katniss wanted to know what he meant- what wouldn’t be long?

 

The countdown begun and she cried out his name, touching a hand to the glass separating them.

 

He put a hand against hers and nodded encouragingly, “You can do this. You’re the girl on fire.”

 

And then she was shooting up into the Cornucopia, temporarily blinded and disorientated by the sunlight.

 

She glanced around as soon as she could see clearly, and found she was on the edge of a plain surrounding the Cornucopia. In the middle there was the pile of supplies- weapons, food, everything they all needed to survive- and around the grass plain where they were stood was a forest and a meadow. Katniss was closest to the forest and knew- filled with confidence- that if she could get a bag from the Cornucopia and out of there before the fight even began that she could disappear into the forest without a trace.

 

She didn’t even have time to look around when suddenly the horn sounded, and her legs moved before she even knew she was running. She could see, out of the corners of her eyes, the other tributes racing to the Cornucopia but she ran hard and soon she was there- the first!- and she grabbed two backpacks, spinning to take off to the forest again.

 

But one of the packs was suddenly being tugged backwards and she was going with it- she fell with a thump and rolled over to see the Career from District 4 looming over her, face malicious. He lunged down to grab her and she kicked out, flinging the backpack back in his face simultaneously. She caught his knee with her kick and the backpack swung in his face then fell uselessly to her left. She scrambled back as he lunged for her again but suddenly his eyes bulged and he roared in pain, blood spraying from his mouth. Katniss froze, but soon realised she had time to escape- someone else had attacked him and she needed to move before they went for her too. She grabbed the two backpacks and ran, looking over her shoulder to watch out for another flying knife she expected to come from Clove. But as she disappeared into the forest she saw Cato, handful of knives, staring after her.

 

*

 

Katniss didn’t know how long she ran for, but it took a long time for her to realise no-one was following her. She stopped and slumped up a nearby tree, catching her breath. Cannons had gone off several times already; the Career from District 4 was dead, both male and females from 6, 7 and 10 were too, as were the girl from District 8 and the boy from District 9.

 

Nine killed already. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly and thought back to the Cornucopia; of how she had seen Cato with the knives, right after he had killed the District 4 boy attacking her, and of how she _knew_ he had seen her run into the forest. So why hadn’t he taken a shot for her? Maybe he couldn’t hit her from that distance? But if it was him who had thrown the knife he had killed another Career- something virtually unheard of in the battle at the Cornucopia. The Careers always killed each other eventually yes, but at this early stage they normally teamed up and formed an alliance.

 

She shook the thought from her head; _It doesn’t matter why he did it, or if he did. It wasn’t like he was trying to save your life deliberately. I need to focus._

 

She looked around the forest, recognising the different types of trees and the moss and some berries she already knew were edible. She felt surprisingly at home. She emptied out the backpacks to examine the contents- there was a sleeping bag, a tub of iodine, bag of beef jerky and packet of crackers and a water container in one. The other held bandages, more jerky and some dried fruit, some rope and a pot. She decided to collect some of the berries in her pot straightaway, as well some moss- which she knew she could use on cuts and grazes as well as for warmth.

 

Her next step had to be to find water. She looked around again and knew there had to streams and lakes in the forest somewhere for it to be so green and plush. But where? She packed her bags back up and continued on, ears pricked for any sound.

 

It was starting to get dark when Katniss started to panic- she had no weapons at all, what could she possibly do if someone came at her now? Outrun them? But her legs already were aching from the day’s exertion and the Careers had probably already eaten and rested well after their bloodbath at the Cornucopia.

 

She stopped walking and told herself to calm down. _This is my territory- I know how to move silently and I know when something is following me. Don’t be afraid._ She looked around and up at the trees again and knew she could climb them easily. Should she get up one tonight and rest, or keep going till she found water?

 

She looked around again and knew there was no point going on. The darker it got the more vulnerable she was to anyone looking for her. She pulled her backpacks tighter around her and begun to climb the largest tree she could find; she stopped every now and then to look around from different heights but still couldn’t see anyone else.

 

She stopped when she reached a good spot; where four sturdy branches overlapped and she could comfortably set up her sleeping bag and still be well hidden by the thinner, leafier branches. Knowing that rolling around could cause her to fall straight off; she tied herself, her packs and the sleeping bag into the tree with rope, before laying out her food and trying to decide how to ration it.

 

Since she had no water she decided to eat the berries- they wouldn’t last as long as the crackers or jerky anyway and they would be more hydrating with their juices. She also knew she could collect more in the morning. She allowed herself one piece of beef jerky too, before packing everything back up and waiting in silence as night fell.

 

*

 

She was sleeping lightly when she heard it; two other cannons booming near simultaneously. She jerked up and wavered on her branches; instantly relieved when she remembered she had been smart enough to tie herself in. She squinted into the sky and saw the girls from District 3 and 4 had been killed. She wondered briefly if they had killed each other, before trying to remember who was left now? All the tributes from 1 and 2, the boy from 3, both tributes from 5, the boy from 8, the girl from 9, and both tributes from 11. And her and Peeta.

 

She was comforted by the fact that Peeta was alive and she wondered where he was. Had he escaped the bloodbath like she had? Was he in the forest now or did he head for the meadow? She was also pleased that the young girl- Rue- from 11 was safe and she wondered where she was. There were 14 of them left now. Ten dead on the first day. Katniss thought about the families of those children that hadn’t even made it past the first day and she imagined them all weeping, devastated. Who had killed them all? The Careers? Cato? She shuddered instantly at the thought of Cato killing the other tributes; but she knew he must have stayed in the bloodbath. And though she hated herself for it; though she knew what he had done, she was still relieved that he was alive.

 

She was thinking of him still, wondering where he was, thinking about how he had reacted- unable to respond- when she had asked him if he was really ready to kill people, when there was shuffling noise coming from below. She froze instantly and wished she had a weapon, before realising how well hidden she was. She peered through the leaves and stopped; someone- a boy, she thought, was shuffling through the bushes. He was limping slightly- it was the boy from District 8- and he settled down only metres from her tree, leaning against another and unpacking his backpack.

 

Katniss watched him carefully, not moving a muscle, as he lifted a water bottle to his mouth and drunk thirstily. He has water? Katniss looked in the direction he had come- further than where she had walked today and resolved to go that way in the morning. She was still squinting in that direction when she saw something flickering in the opposite direction. It looked like a light, or a flame? She turned her attention to it, trying to see more clearly when she spotted them.

 

It was a flame - and now she could see that it was being held by Cato. And he and the other Careers were heading their way. She desperately wanted to warn the other boy but she couldn’t say anything without giving away her own position. She doubted that unless she made an obvious noise that they would even know she was up here. She was panicking now, what should she do? Could she sit here and watch them find him? Watch him die? Knowing she could have warned him?

 

And suddenly, he seemed to know- he sat up straight and Katniss realised that he- like she now could- could hear them coming. They weren’t being quiet, in fact, she could even hear them talking.

 

He scrambled up and grabbed his bag and took off at a run; but his leg was clearly painful because he stumbled and fell once, and then was crashing through the forest loudly. She knew- as she was sure he must- that the Careers now knew where he was, and sure enough, they soon broke into a run, sprinting past Katniss’ tree and delving into the forest behind her. She briefly saw the District 1 boy raise his arm and seconds later there was a shout and a cannon boomed.

 

So they’d killed him. Just like that.

 

Katniss gulped and retreated further into her self-made nest. She remained silent as she heard them coming back her way.

 

“Ha, what an idiot. Why did he even run? We all saw how bad you cut his leg Clove.” The District 1 boy was saying.

 

“Don’t talk to me Marvel, you stole my kill. I told you I wanted to finish that.” Clove retorted angrily, and Katniss felt a swell of hatred for the girl.

 

“Shut up both of you. It’s done isn’t it.” Cato’s voice was lower than the rest and he sounded frustrated.

 

They were getting closer- right near to the base of her tree- when she heard the annoying blond female from District 1 speak. “Come on Cato; let’s stop here for the night.” She was simpering to him and Katniss wanted to throw her backpack down at the girl’s head.

 

As they edged closer, Katniss could see them more clearly. They looked fine for the most part; the District One boy Marvel was sporting a huge bruise on his cheek and Clove had a couple of scratches across her face, but none of them looked seriously injured.

 

 _Of course not, you just slaughtered everyone else._ Katniss thought bitterly. But her anger soon tripled as she spotted Glimmer holding the bow- her bow!

 

“She’s right Cato, we might as well stay here. There’s no point going all the way to the Cornucopia now.” It was Clove speaking again, and Cato huffed in agreement.

 

She watched them all drop their packs and sit down, leaning up against the tree opposite Katniss’. Glimmer perched practically on top of Cato’s lap and leant against him.

 

“We’ll find her, if that’s what you’re worried about.” She said reassuringly to him. Katniss froze as she knew instantly they were talking about her.

 

Clove laughed menacingly from her position on Cato’s left. “I can’t _wait_ to find her. Teach her a lesson. Eleven, ha, what a joke. How do you think she got it?”

 

Marvel snorted, “What does it matter? She won’t be able to do anything when all of us get hold of her.” His voice was laced with malice and the desire in it- the desire to hurt her- made Katniss shiver.

 

“NO.” Cato’s voice was loud and demanding. “None of you are touching her.”

 

Katniss flinched, What the hell? She watched as the others all shifted and Glimmer said snappily, “So, what? If we find her and you’re not around we let her go? I don’t think so.” 

 

Cato pushed her off him and stood up, towering over the others who stayed sitting. “I told you,” his voice was dangerous and Katniss shrunk back again. “No-one else touches her.”

 

This time, no-one answered back. The demand in his voice was clear: the girl-on-fire was his.

* * *

Keep reading please :) thanks! x


	7. It’s Now or Never For This World Won’t Stop Turning

**Called Out In The Dark**

**Chapter Seven: It’s Now or Never For This World Won’t Stop Turning**

_You thought you were standing beside me,_

_Y_ _ou were only in my way._

_You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you_

_ Three Days Grace: Just Like You_

 

 

She didn’t know how, but Katniss still managed to fall asleep that night. And when she woke, the Careers were gone.

 

She didn’t want to leave though, she felt safe and secure up in the tree. She was hidden. She didn’t want to climb down and leave herself exposed and vulnerable. She was shaken by Cato’s words the previous night. She couldn’t explain it, but she had felt some sort of connection with him- and though before she had considered it rivalry- now it felt different. Had she really ever thought he wouldn’t kill her? Was there really anything other than malice behind their every interaction?

 

She shook herself. She knew that she needed to forget anything that had ever occurred with Cato to make her feel the way she did about him; he was lethal- Haymitch had told her that from the start- and now that was the only way she needed to think of him. He was her predator and she had to elude him.

 

She was tempted to leave some of her belongings in the tree, but decided against it. If she found water she’d be better off sticking around that area. She packed up her stuff and eased her way down, checking at different heights for signs of anyone. But there was no-one in sight and she presumed the Careers had gone back to the Cornucopia for now.

 

She was silent as she made her way through the forest again, desperately wishing she had her bow- or anything- as a weapon. It felt like she had walked hours when she heard the tell-tale sounds of water flowing. She wanted to run- but she knew that this would be a popular place with other tributes if they knew it was here. So she moved carefully, her eyes and ears alert for any sign of another presence. But there was none; and as soon as her eyes set on the river she darted forward and stuck her face down into it, gulping in the cold fluid and splashing it over her face and neck.

 

She sat up and filled her water bottle and drank again greedily, before refilling it. She screwed the lid tight and repacked it in her bag, before glancing around at the trees around her. There was a large one only metres away that you couldn’t see into at all. It would be perfect.

 

She packed up and made her way over to it; collecting some more berries into her pan on her way over. She had just started the climb up when she heard the rustling noises coming from above. She stared through the canopies warily; but could see nothing, and decided it could well just be a bird. So she carried on up until she was in the thickest set of greenery and settled in a large grooved part of the tree that she could even stretch out in. She was just unpacking her stuff when the rustling noise started again and she looked up and spotted a pair of brown eyes staring back at her.

 

It was the little girl from District 11.

 

Katniss knew instantly that Rue was no danger to her and she had known right from the day she had seen Rue be reaped that she could never hurt the young girl- she reminded her too much of Prim. So instead she said, “Hi,” in a voice that she hoped was friendly and unthreatening.

 

The eyes disappeared again and then her little body dropped down between the branches lithely and Rue was perched opposite her on another large grove.

 

“They’re looking for you, you know.” Was all she said, eyes wary on Katniss.

 

Katniss frowned, “What do you mean?”

 

“The Careers. They came this way earlier- they’re long gone now. But they’re looking for you.”  Rue answered, still hovering on the tips of her toes as if ready to launch herself back up the way she came at a moment’s notice.

 

Katniss scowled, they had been this way already? “I know, I saw them last night.”

 

Rue rocked on her feet, “Didn’t they see you?”

 

Katniss smiled, “No, I hid up another big tree.” She undid her pack and pulled out her pan of berries, popping a few into her mouth. “Do you want some?”

 

Rue stared, disbelieving, “Can I?”

 

Katniss laughed, “They’re not the only ones who can have allies you know. It was really smart of you to come up here. You must be able to move like a monkey.”

 

Rue grinned, pleased at that, and shuffled forward, slowly taking a few berries from Katniss’ pan. “I’m one of the best climbers back home- I can get to the highest branches in the orchards at work.”

 

“Work?” Katniss asked, shaking the pan at Rue to take more berries.

 

The little girl did so, and nodded, “In harvest season we all have to work. It’s really hard.”

 

Katniss shook her head, “But you do go to school right? You don’t work all the time?” Was it possible District 11 was worse than 12? She’d never really thought about life in the other districts before.

 

Rue nodded, munching on her berries hungrily, “Yes, I go to school other times. But everyone has to work in harvest time. You’ll get whipped if you don’t.”

 

Katniss frowned again, whippings were old history in District 12. Her Peacekeepers were clearly more lenient then they ought to be.

 

They were both silent for a while until Rue said, “I thought you and Cato were friends. Or something.”

 

Katniss started and choked on the berries in her mouth. Rue darted forward and held the water bottle to her mouth.

 

“What?” she spluttered as soon as she could talk again.

 

Rue shrugged lightly, “I saw you together on the Banquet night. I thought you were…” she didn’t finish her sentence but widened her eyes slightly.

 

Katniss could only stare, heart hammering. “No.” she eventually said, “No, we were arguing then. He wanted to know how I got my score. Pretty sure he hates me.”

 

Rue laughed a little, “Maybe. I think they all want to know how you got your score. It’s the highest ever isn’t it?”

 

Katniss shook her head, “No. Someone else got eleven before, can’t remember who though.”

 

They were silent again and Katniss begun to sort through her things. Rue sat nearby and watched and asked Katniss some questions about District 12, and told her about her family and life in 11.

 

Eventually, night began to fall and Rue begun to shiver, before inexplicably darting up into the tree again. Katniss watched through the maze of leaves and could occasionally see Rue leaping from branch to branch gracefully.

 

She was down again minutes later, holding her own backpack.

 

“I have some crackers we can share?” she said, as she pulled out her jacket from the bag and put it on.

 

Katniss smiled and pulled out her jerky, “Only if we can share some of this too? Now, come here, you’re freezing.”

 

And Rue, spotting Katniss unrolling her sleeping bag, grinned so sweetly that Katniss couldn’t help but hug the girl to her as if her life depended on it.

 

*

 

Rue woke first and darted down the tree quickly to fill up their canisters again. She had just woken Katniss when they heard voices echoing through the trees. Rue froze, eyes alert and terrified, and Katniss shushed her, pulling Rue back further into their make-shift canopy and crept forwards herself.

 

“I’m telling you Cato, the sooner the better.” It was Marvel talking and Katniss froze in terror. She looked back at Rue and saw the girl’s eyes fill with fear.

 

“I’m not doing anything until I’m certain the job’s done.” Cato retorted angrily, and she could see his shoulders tense as they strode into view.

 

“For fuck sake Cato, if you’re obsessed with 12 so bad go fucking find her and finish this.” Marvel snapped, reaching into his bag to pull out some water containers.

 

Cato turned on him instantly and grabbed him by the scruff of his t-shirt, practically lifting him from the floor. “Shut the fuck up Marvel.” He growled, holding him up for a seconds more before flinging him aside. Marvel stumbled but didn’t fall and glared at Cato, his hand hovering over the knife in his belt.

 

“Just fill up the bottles and let’s go.” Cato ordered, and Marvel scowled but did as he was told.

 

Katniss watched as Cato splashed himself with water and wondered what they had been talking about- the sooner the better with what? What job? Even as she struggled to figure out what they could possibly be getting up to now she found it hard to tear her eyes from Cato. His t-shirt was soaked now and clung to his muscles like a second skin. She swallowed and felt suddenly hot as he turned and she caught a glimpse of his toned chest and abs.

 

But suddenly he was looking right up at their tree and she shrunk back, terrified he might see her.

 

Rue clutched her arm and Katniss rubbed her back soothingly. They were both totally silent until they heard the two boys marching off.

 

Rue turned to Katniss, “Are you ok?”

 

Katniss nodded, throat tight still, “Yes. But I need a bow.”

 

*

 

They spent the rest of that day going through their plan in detail- Katniss knew how dangerous a plan it was, and she wondered what Haymitch thought of it. Would he think she was being an idiot, or would he admire her daring? She decided it didn’t matter either way, she _needed_ a weapon. They couldn’t keep hiding up trees and hoping no-one would find them; right now if someone did they were way too vulnerable.

 

They ate a fair bit that night; Katniss knew she would need all the strength she had for the next day. They were both quiet as they climbed into the sleeping bag together and Katniss knew that if things went horribly wrong the next day then this could be the last time she saw Rue.

 

“I’m so glad I met you Katniss. We’re friends right?” Rue whispered suddenly.

 

Katniss looked down at the girl who she had grown so fond of so quickly and nodded, “Of course Rue. Of course we are.” She kissed the younger girl’s head and Rue cuddled her closer.

 

When they woke up, they were both set with grim determination. They ran through the plan one last time as they ate some berries for breakfast.

 

“Remember Rue, if I don’t come back you’re not to come looking for me. You’re to stay here and stay hidden. You promise?” Katniss said sternly as she picked up the pack she was taking with her. Rue’s eyes were wet, but she nodded.

 

“Good.” Katniss took a breath and then Rue’s arms were around her tightly. “Hey, it’s ok. I will be back as soon as possible. Be careful.”

 

Rue nodded again, “You too.”

 

And Katniss climbed down the tree, trying to avoid looking at the sad, scared brown eyes watching her go.

 

She made her way through the forest carefully, spotting- at last- some wild animals on her way. _Once I’ve got my bow, you’re dinner,_ she thought as her stomach moaned. She had to stop a few times on her way to the Cornucopia to take a sip of water, or to double-check she was going in the right away. But soon she was getting closer to the edge of the forest and she moved more silently and slowly than before.

 

Once she got to a well-hidden edge of the forest, and tucked herself behind a large thorn bush, she could see the Career’s camp. The two boys were nowhere to be soon, which both reassured her and made her uneasy. But she could see Clove and Glimmer clearly and also the boy from District 3, who’s head was bent over something, hands moving quickly. From the wire and metal around him, Katniss could see he was making something. So that was the job Cato and Marvel had spoke of? They had roped him into doing it… whatever it was.

 

Katniss desperately wanted to find out, but was soon distracted by the bow slung carelessly by a nearby tree. She needed that bow, and she needed it now.

 

So she set about her first step of the plan; creating the fire to distract their attention. She took longer than she had hoped she would but eventually it was burning. And the minute it was she darted off, running swiftly through the woods, all the while keeping her eyes set on Glimmer and Clove. She needed them to move soon, otherwise she wouldn’t have enough time to get the bow and get out of there.

 

As she was nearing their camp she slowed down, and suddenly Clove leapt up.

 

“Fire- over there. Now!” she shouted, grabbing her knives and for a horrible moment Katniss realised they might take the bow with them. She froze, realising how stupid she had been, when Glimmer took off too… leaving the bow behind.

 

She breathed a sigh of relief and crept forward, clutching the rock she had picked up from the river tightly in her hand and hoping she wouldn’t have to use it on the District 3 boy. She was right at the edge of their camp, waiting for Clove and Glimmer to disappear from view. And when they did she moved quicker then she thought she ever had in her life. She practically dived forward, rolling low and hoping that District 3 was so focused on what he was doing he wouldn’t notice her arm sneaking forward to grab at the bow and the arrows.

 

She stayed still for a minute, hand clutched around it, before she slowly slid it towards her, careful not to snag it on any twigs. As soon as it was within her grasp she flung it around her shoulders and darted back off, still keeping her eyes alert. She soon spotted Clove and Glimmer heading back towards their camp, bickering, and she made sure to stay out of their path.

 

She was panting when she got back to the deeper part of the forest and she wondered if the two Career girls had even noticed the bow was missing yet. It didn’t matter. She had it now, and that was enough. She already felt stronger, more confident, less like prey.

 

She moved slower again now, wary of the sun setting but comforted enough by her bow to not rush. She was almost back at the water’s edge when she saw a couple of the big birds she had spotted earlier, and she thought of how happy Rue would be when she saw them so she immediately took down two. She was gathering them up and replacing the arrows in their hold when she heard the cannon go off again. Startled, she looked up into the sky and saw the image of the District 3 boy.

 

Realising it must mean the Careers knew the bow was missing, she hurried on, halting in her tracks only a second later when she heard a scream. A scream that unmistakably came from Rue.

 

* * *

 

**In about two chapters this will link in directly with my 'Paint Our Love' finnick/Johanna piece - please give that a read too!**


	8. If You Feel So Empty, You’re Not The Only One

**Called Out In The Dark**

**Chapter Eight: If You Feel So Empty, You’re Not The Only One**

_Look in my eyes,_

_You’re killing me, killing me,_

_All I wanted was you._

_ Thirty Seconds To Mars: The Kill_

__

 

Her first thought was a panicked NO! and she screamed out before she could stop herself. She was loading her bow and pelting through the trees when she saw Marvel’s arm raised, his spear ready and aimed at Rue’s quivering body on the ground near their tree.

 

She didn’t even think, she let her arrow loose and watched in desperation as it hit him square through the neck and the spear fell uselessly to his side. She loaded another arrow even as she ran nearer but he had fallen already and his body was barely twitching. Katniss ignored him completely as she fell to Rue’s side and gathered her up.

 

“Are you alright? Are you hurt?”

 

Rue shook in her arms, “I fell, I think I’ve broken my arm. It hurts.”

 

Katniss let out a sigh of relief and scooped her up, “It’s ok. I’m going to take care of that. It’s ok.”

 

She picked Rue up and the girl whined softly, “You have to hold on tight to me Rue, hold on tight with your legs; I’m going to climb up.”

 

As she started the climb the cannon boomed and Katniss knew, without looking at the sky, that Marvel was dead. And she had killed him. She tried not to think about it and focused only on the effort of the climb and the fact that Rue was alive and safe again.

 

Once they got to the top she eased Rue off of her slowly and caught her breath back.

“I’m going to go back down and get his pack and spear.” She said, her voice soft to comfort Rue.

 

She shook her head, eyes wide and terrified, “No, don’t. I know Cato is around here somewhere. I think he’s looking for you.”

 

“It’s ok Rue, I’ll be careful. We could do with his pack now and I need to get you a branch for your arm. I’ll be quick I promise.” Katniss kissed her cheek, “Be lookout for me. Do your whistle if you see him and I’ll come back up.”

 

Rue hesitated but nodded, watching carefully as Katniss eased her way back down again. She had reached the floor and grabbed his pack when the hovercraft came over. She dodged out of its way, deep into the trees away from the river and watched as it picked up his body. She felt sad, and guilty and cruel.  

 

“Did you kill him?” the voice startled her and she spun around, bow loaded, but she wasn’t quick enough. A strong hand came out and pinned the bow back at her throat, trapping her against the tree.

 

Her heart dropped and she felt sick. It was Cato.

 

He stood opposite her, one hand keeping the bow in place, the other resting on the tree near her face. He was so close to her again.

 

“Did you kill him?” he asked again, voice low, but not angry, not full of vengeance. Just curiosity. Katniss hated it, she hated being caught by him, being trapped- again- but she hated most that he was playing with her still.

 

She needed to buy time though, maybe she could find a way out of this. She would not let him know Rue was there though; that was one thing she would guarantee- that no-one would harm Rue whilst she was still standing.

 

“Yes.” She tried to nod but couldn’t move her head without an arrow scratching her cheek.

 

He looked at her for a while and she hated herself for feeling dizzy even now, just by having his eyes locked on hers.

 

“So this,” he twanged the bow string lightly, “is how you got your eleven? Should have known after the training day. How did you get it?”

 

She stared back at him, wondering why he was tormenting her like this. Couldn’t he just do it quickly? Why play this game with her now?

 

“I stole it from your camp. I saw Glimmer had it the other day.”

 

His eyebrows shot up, “Interesting. I guess you’ve been hiding pretty well in here then. Do the girls know yet, that you took it?”

 

Katniss shrugged, realising he didn’t even know she’d been hiding up the nearby tree- which meant it was still safe for her and Rue. She opened her mouth to reply again, before she suddenly spotted something over his shoulder. Someone was moving in, behind them, with something raised high- another spear- aimed at Cato’s back.

 

And suddenly she knew this boy would kill him, that Cato’s attention was so fully on her that he wouldn’t even know until it hit him in the back. And what would she do then? Hope she could get an arrow free before the boy killed her too? She was trying to think of a plan, when the boy edged closer and she knew instantly she did not want Cato to die in her arms. She did not want him to die at all.

 

She turned her eyes on him, and whispered, “We need to move now,” desperately hoping he would not think she was trying to trick him. “He has a spear.”

 

Cato scowled, but didn’t move, until a second later when the boy’s spear was raised fully and something on Katniss’ face must have registered as sheer honesty, because suddenly he had grabbed her completely and flung them both aside, seconds before the spear hit the tree.

 

She landed on top of him and was winded by the impact, but the boy was above them, a sword now raised and she thought she was about to die.

 

But as the sword swung down Cato’s arm shot out and he grabbed the boy’s ankle, twisting the boy’s leg round so he yelled and fell, taking the sword with him. And then Cato was pushing her off him and had dived at the boy, wrestling the sword from his grip.

 

Katniss watched in horror as they grappled for control of the sword, though she saw instantly that Cato was easily the stronger of the two. He had a hold of the helm of the sword when the other boy pulled a dagger out and swung for Cato’s neck.

 

“Cato!” Katniss screamed in warning, shocking both the boys and herself, and Cato drove the sword forward into the other boy’s belly in the moment of confusion. The boy- she saw now he was the District 5 tribute- fell to the floor and a cannon sounded instantly.

 

And then it was just the two of them, Katniss was still half-led on the floor and Cato towered over her, bloody sword in hand.

 

 _This is it_ , she thought instantly as she watched him stare down at her intensely, chest heaving.

 

They locked eyes and Katniss’ stomach somersaulted. _You’re the last thing I’m ever going to see._

But he didn’t move, he only stood staring at her. It felt like hours until Katniss stood up, hesitant and wary. She bent for her bow and he still didn’t move. And then she raised it at him and he flinched.

 

But even as she saw the blood on his hands, the body at his feet, and knew that this boy was one of many he’d now killed, she knew that she would not be the one to kill him. She couldn’t judge him anymore, she’d killed Marvel, she’d practically helped him kill the District 5 boy. She couldn’t judge him; and that meant she had nothing to hold against him. She didn’t even hate him like she did the others- she felt inextricably linked to him and nothing could stop that now. She lowered her bow and they continued to stare at each other.

 

And then Cato turned and walked away silently, leaving her there, with the opportunity of shooting him in the back. But he knew she wouldn’t; just like she knew that he wouldn’t- and couldn’t- kill her.

 

*

 

It didn’t take long for Katniss to make her way back to Rue and soon she was climbing the tree as darkness was falling.

 

Once she got to the top Rue hugged her, “Are you ok? Where were you?”

 

“I’m ok, don’t worry.”

 

Rue looked confused, “What happened? Are you ok? You look funny.”

 

Katniss sat down and put her head between her knees. She felt funny. She felt like someone had tipped her upside down and shook her about. She felt sick and weak and hot. She couldn’t believe what had happened between her and Cato. She wanted to talk to Rue about it; but she didn’t know where to begin or how Rue would react. Surely she’d think Katniss was an idiot- or a beast.

 

Instead, she just nodded and motioned for Rue to lift her sore arm for up to her.

 

As she worked on a brace for it, Rue said, “I saw the District 5 boy was killed too. Now there’s the girl from 1, and Cato and Clove, the girls from 5 and 9, me and Thresh and you and Peeta left. That’s nine of us.” There was another paused and Rue said, “Are you worried about Peeta?”

 

Katniss looked up, caught off guard. “Yes, I guess.” She shrugged and felt guilty again, “I’ve wondered where he is and how he’s doing. I’m glad he’s still ok.” She begun working on the brace again but now couldn’t shake her concern. Was he actually ok? How did she know he wasn’t wounded or ill? She begun to realise that she hadn’t thought of him once since her first night in the arena, and she felt awful.

She owed him her life- and she owed him kindness.

 

It was if Rue was reading her mind because she suddenly said, “Why don’t we find him? He could be our ally couldn’t he? He likes you.”

 

Katniss glanced up at her again, before beginning to tie the brace around Rue’s arm. The younger girl winced but made no sound of protest.

 

“Maybe. Maybe that’s a good idea. But not tonight, tonight we need to rest and eat.” Katniss suddenly remembered the birds she had caught and she pointed at them, “And I’m guessing you’ve seen but I caught something. Some kind of bird. Pretty sure we could cook them and eat them tomorrow.”

 

Rue’s face lit up, “They’re called groosling,” she giggled, “they’re delicious.”

 

Katniss laughed at the look of delight on Rue’s face, “Good- they can be our lunch!”

 

And as they tucked into the jerky and crackers and berries Katniss let herself relax a little more again. She forgot about the two dead boys, and she forgot about Peeta. But she could not forget about Cato, and she fell asleep later with his face still in her mind.

* * *

 

**Thanks to any readers and reviewers x**


	9. Try To Take It Back To Before It All Went Wrong

**Called Out In The Dark**

**Chapter Nine: Try To Take It Back To Before It All Went Wrong**

_Tried to hang me high,_

_Well I’m choked._

_Wanted rain on me,_

_Well I’m soaked._

_ The Script: The End Where I Begin_

 

“Where do you think he’ll be?” Rue asked, as the two of them scaled down the tree, Katniss still carrying Rue’s weight.

 

Katniss shrugged, “I don’t know, Haymitch told us both to find somewhere high and dry near water. He can’t be too far from here I hope.” She was feeling uneasy about her and Rue’s agreement to find and ally with Peeta now though; she still hadn’t figured him out and she was already beginning to realise that though she adored Rue and didn’t regret their alliance there could be a day when it was just the two of them left alive: and then what?

 

She didn’t want the extra pressure of worrying about another mouth to feed or another person she couldn’t harm. But the guilt of not knowing where he was or if he was ok was eating her up and so for now, she decided another ally could be useful.

 

They stuck close together; Rue having a weapon of her own now after they emptied Marvel’s pack and found a selection of knives, and stopped every now then so Katniss could climb a tree and scout around fully from a height. They must have been hours from their own tree, and found nothing more than another groosling and some berries, when they stumbled upon another stream, with a little waterfall. Rue headed straight to fill up their canteens, whilst Katniss looked around, convinced that someone must be hiding here somewhere.

 

She was just about to start scaling a tree when Rue let out a little shriek behind her, and she spun, bow raised, ready, when she saw the bush that Rue had been crouched by shuffle and stand up.

 

Rue laughed in amazement and Katniss blinked. The bush had stood up. She was going mad, she had to be.

 

And then it spoke, “Katniss.”

 

It was Peeta- she couldn’t believe it, he had camouflaged his _entire_ body and face. “You look like a tree,” was all she could get out in her shock and relief at seeing him alive, and dressed in leaves.

 

He laughed and pulled down his leaf hood, “That was the general idea. What are you doing here?”

 

“We came for you. We want to ally with you. We have our own camp, and food- Katniss is amazing at hunting. You should come join us.” Rue said, examining Peeta’s leaf sleeves with interest.

 

He glanced away from her up to Katniss in surprise, “You’ve come for me?”

 

Katniss shrugged, “We wanted to know you were ok.”

 

“I’m ok.” He answered, still staring at her, “Are you?”

 

Katniss shrugged awkwardly again, remembering their last meeting before this. “Yeah. Rue’s arm is broken but hopefully it’ll heal soon.”

 

Peeta turned his gaze back on Rue, “Are you ok? I have painkillers in my pack if you need them,” then his eyes were back on Katniss again, “I’m afraid I don’t have much else. Just some crackers and a sleeping bag. Oh, and my camouflage kit.”

 

“That’s ok- we can all share, can’t we Katniss?” Rue said again, smiling happily.

 

Her eagerness and happiness at finding Peeta only reminded Katniss of how young Rue was though and made her feel worse. If any of the three of them were going to survive then the other two would _have_ to die. How could sharing their things and allying up possibly be a good idea? What would happen if they were the last three left? She thought of Cato and instantly knew that wouldn’t be the case. And if Cato was left with either of the two, then what?

 

But she nodded her assent to Rue anyway, “We need to leave soon though; we’ll eat this here and then leave rightaway. I don’t want to hang around when the smoke is going for too long. Do you have any weapons?”

 

Peeta shook his head, “No. I haven’t even seen anyone else yet. I’m surprised you found me- I have no idea where I am now from the Cornucopia, I just took a bag and legged it.”

 

 “You’re actually not that far from it- maybe an hour or so. And since we know that’s where the Career’s are based we can cook the groosling, eat it and get out of here in that time. Can you start a fire?”

 

He nodded, still staring at her in a way that made Katniss feel embarrassed and awkward. “Yeah, I’ll just wash my face first.”

 

Rue joined Katniss- watching her in fascination as she plucked and prepped the bird- and whispered, “Are you ok? You two seem really awkward.”

 

Katniss started, Rue was surprising her with how perceptive she was. “I’m fine. I just don’t want to stick around here for long.”

 

Rue nodded, and went to help Peeta with the fire, and it wasn’t long before Katniss had cooked it and they were eating greedily.

 

The deliciousness of the bird relaxed the mood a bit and soon Katniss was joining Rue’s laughter as Peeta had grease dribbling sloppily down his chin.

 

 They were packing up and about to make their way back when Katniss spotted smoke coming from the east of them, and noted that it was increasing worryingly quickly.

 

“We need to move - if the Career’s haven’t spotted our fire they’ll definitely have seen that.” The order had no sooner coming off her tongue when they hear the cannon go off and saw that the girl from District 9 was dead.

 

They all looked at each other in panic, and scrambled for their things when Peeta cried, “Look!” and just flickering over the trees behind them, under the cloud of smoke, were bright, deadly flames. There was a fire spreading through the forest- and it was coming right towards them.

 

“Go! Now!” Katniss screamed as the flames suddenly burst through the clearing opposite the stream. They were soon running desperately as the flames licked at their heels. Katniss knew they must be artificial- they were moving too swiftly to be real, and she could begin to feel the heat of them burning her back and neck.

 

She could see Rue and Peeta to her left and she made to shout at them to hurry when the trees behind her fell under impact and the flames were separating her from them. She could hear them both yelling her name but she ran on, terrified for Rue and for Peeta, but terrified more for herself. The fire seemed to be following her and she could feel her muscles and lungs burning from the effort. Was she going to die like this? She knew she couldn’t continue running this hard, this fast, and she knew the minute she slowed that she would be swallowed by the agonising heat. She drove herself on, trying to think of how she could escape this when she saw that the ground ahead of her was coming to an edge. She skidded to a stop and saw it was another waterfall; a high drop to the water. If she misjudged she could hit a rock and die instantly; if she didn’t jump…

 

In that instant Katniss decided that drowning sounded better than being burnt alive and she used all the force left in her body to throw herself off the edge.

 

She hit the water hard and felt the wind blow from her body and she grappled with the surprisingly strong tide to get her head above water. And when she did she saw the flames retreating- like an angry wild dog unprepared to take the risk of the jump- and she knew that the flames had been made for the Games, for her chase. They were no accident, and they probably killed the girl from 9. But she was alive; and she could be thankful for that at least. She forced herself to fight the current; using the rocks around her to pull herself to the edge. She could barely stand to climb out, and once she did, her shaking legs gave way under her and her body became jelly. She closed her eyes, exhausted, and wondered how far she was from her base and if Rue and Peeta were ok.

 

*

 

Katniss’ eyes flickered open and she found herself staring at a brown rabbit, eyes locked on her curiously, only inches away.

 

She groaned, her body tired and bruised, and the rabbit shot away again as she tried to push herself up. It took an awful amount of effort and she realised how cold she was when she was finally able to get to her feet. She looked around, and realised she didn’t recognise any of the area and that it was getting dark already. It was a sort of a spring; the water was flowing much slower than it had been when she had hit it before, and it was surrounded by smaller, flowered trees.

 

She thought about Rue and Peeta and hoped they were alright- no cannon had sounded, but she didn’t know if she had passed out so heavily as to miss it anyway. She looked around again, trying to find somewhere she could warm up somehow and spotted some caves; similar to the ones by Peeta’s lake.

 

She moved slowly, starting to feel anxious that this was another area that could be another tributes base, and she loaded her bow, forcing her body to focus on working properly again so she could defend herself if she needed to. She was just stumbling into one of the caves, squinting in to try and see in the dark when something inside it groaned and shuffled forward. Her bow was up immediately and all she could think about was how bears liked caves and the time she had faced a giant black one with Gale. But the shuffling was slow, and the groans too human, and she realised that whoever was in there was injured. She didn’t know whether to leave or go and find out who it was… what would she do if it was Thresh and he was bluffing? Even injured, he could probably kill her instantly if he got a hand on her.

 

But before she could make her decision the groaning person shuffled into the light further and she gasped, her bow clattering to the floor in her surprise.

 

On his knees before her, face bruised and body looking battered, was Cato.

 

*

 

“What happened?” Katniss asked, breaking the silence they were sat in.

 

Cato glared at her, “Thresh.”

 

“You fought with him? Where is he?”

 

“Dead.”

 

Katniss started, “What? When? You killed him? I didn’t hear a cannon go off.” She couldn’t have been unconscious so deeply that she missed the cannon, could she?

 

“I killed him, the cannon went off, he’s dead and gone now.” He paused and then glared at her again, “Is that a problem?”

 

Katniss scowled at him, “Shut up. Don’t be so cold. He has a family somewhere.”

 

Cato snorted and then winced in pain, “So does Marvel. Did you think about that when you killed him?”

 

Katniss felt a fury, and guilt, boil up in her; she hated him for bringing that up. “He was going to kill Rue.”

 

Cato snorted again, “Oh you’d have never have killed him to survive then? If you and him were the last ones left, you wouldn’t have killed him then?”

 

She hated him. Why did she get in this stupid cave with him? Why did she keep gravitating towards him? Why did he ask her for the answers she didn’t want to ever think about?

 

“Besides,” he added gruffly, “Thresh came at me. I saw him in the fire.”

 

Katniss stared at him, so he wasn’t just hunting people down one by one? She glanced him over, before realising he had said he had seen Thresh in the fire. “You saw the fire too? Was it everywhere?”

 

Cato nodded, “It started near the Cornucopia then seemed to spread to everywhere, almost in sections. Definitely a games fire. Clove and Glimmer disappeared- Glimmer died in the fire or Clove killed her, I don’t know- and then I bumped into Thresh.”

 

“Glimmer’s dead too?” That meant two cannons had gone off and she had missed them. Her heart dropped as she thought of Rue and Peeta. “How many others died? How many more cannons went off?”

 

Cato snorted again and leant back against the cave wall, wincing more with each movement, “Don’t worry, lover-boy and girl 11 must be alive and well somewhere. It was only Glimmer, Thresh and Nine.”

 

Katniss swallowed, her heart racing still and she was surprised to find tears of relief pricking at her eyes. She turned her head from Cato and swiped them away.

 

When she looked back he was slumped against the wall, his hand trying to grab at the pack near him. Katniss realised suddenly how weak he really was; how hard Thresh must have fought, for he could barely lift his hand. She shuffled forward, ignoring his glare, and pulled the pack towards herself.

 

“What do you want?”

 

“I don’t need your help,” he growled back, moving to reach for the bag again but unable to.

 

“Don’t be an idiot. What do you want?”

 

He glared at her for a long time, and was silent. Katniss waited, furious at him for being so proud and for not trusting her despite the fact that they both knew she could shoot him with her bow right now and he could do nothing to stop her. So after another few moments of silence, she pulled the bag open herself and pulled out the first thing her hand gripped. It was a thick, woollen blanket. She was surprised to find something so basic in his pack- she would have guessed he was arrogant enough to pack his bag with weapons only. She placed it on the floor and hunted through for the next items- a torch, matches, knives, some bandage, an empty water bottle and some painkillers.

 

She pulled out the things she had left in the bag she had; it was still drying- like she was- in the strangely warm air of the cave so she laid all the items around her.

 

She popped some of the painkillers into her hand and then held out her water bottle to Cato. He stared at her, his eyes hazier than before, and she realised he was slowly getting more tired and weak in his state. She shuffled over to him, moving slowly, waiting for him to reach out and push her away. But he merely watched as she edged her way next to him, knees pressed against his thigh. They stared at each other for a while until Katniss raised her shaking hand to his mouth; she felt light-headed and her stomach fluttered as she pressed her fingers to his lips and he opened them, letting the pills slide onto his tongue. He was still staring at her intently when she lifted the water bottle to his mouth, pouring in a small amount. He swallowed and closed his eyes, his head dropping against the cave wall.

 

Katniss stared; stunned at the transformation. In his weakened state, and with his eyes closed, he almost looked peaceful. Calm. She scanned his face again, taking in the bruises on his cheeks and jaw and her eyes settled on his lips. The lips that had seconds ago touched her hand. She shivered at the thought.

 

There was silence for a moment when suddenly there was a clunk outside. Cato’s eyes shot open and Katniss picked up her bow immediately. He made to move but Katniss was already edging forward, bow raised, when she spotted the tell-tale white canvas of a parachute and a large silver box.

 

She stared, stunned. Someone had sent them a gift. Someone had sent her and Cato a gift… she could hardly believe it. _It must be for Cato_ , she thought, no-one had sent her anything so far- despite Haymitch and Peeta’s firm belief that she would be the favourite. _Surely it’s for Cato?_ She edged forward and picked the box up, opening it curiously, before gawping at the contents. It was a box full of food- all the food that Katniss had told a laughing Caesar Flickerman was her favourite. And wrapped next to it, was a first aid kit and spare, dry clothes: a set for her, and a set clearly meant for a male.

 

She shivered again at the realisation that this meant the gift was definitely for her _and_ Cato- which meant that some people, somewhere, were enjoying seeing them together. And that must mean that somehow Haymitch, and Brutus, approved.

 

* * *

**Thanks again to all readers/reviewers, please keep with it!**

**Anyone reading 'Paint Our Love' will see the connection in this scene! :)**


	10. How Do You Think I Feel When You Call My Name?

**Called Out In The Dark**

**Chapter Ten: How Do You Think I Feel When You Call My Name?**

_I took the stars from my eyes,_

_and then I made a map,_

_And knew that somehow I could find my way back,_

_Then I heard your heart beating,_

_you were in the darkness too,_

_S_ _o I stayed in the darkness with you._

_ Florence and the Machine: Cosmic Love _

****

**__ **

Katniss was still staring at the box in shock when she heard Cato groaning behind her, “What is it? What are you doing?”

 

She turned back to him, picking up the box and edging slowly back into the cave.

 

“Someone has sent us some stuff.” She told him hesitantly, still disbelieving that people were sending her and Cato joint gifts. It made _no sense_.

 

Cato snorted and shifted up slightly, “You mean someone has sent _you_ some more stuff. We all know you’re the favourite- no-one else has been sent anything yet.”

 

Katniss started, “What? What do you mean? None of you were sent anything?”

 

“Don’t sound so surprised; after that stupid fire entrance, then lover-boy’s comments and your training score you were blatantly the apple of the Capitol’s eye.”

 

Katniss frowned in confusion, “But I haven’t been sent anything either. This is the first.”

 

She could see Cato’s face furrow in confusion, “So who the hell has been getting the sponsors? There’s only 6 of us left and no-one has been sponsored so far?”

 

Katniss shrugged, “We don’t know that- people might have been sponsoring Thresh or the other girl.” But she knew that didn’t make sense; surely if someone was sponsoring Thresh they’d have given him what he needed to kill Cato.

 

Cato scowled, “Maybe. What did you get anyway?”

 

“It’s not just for me. It’s for us. Someone’s sent us a joint gift.”

 

“What?! Shut up. That’s not possible.” He was angry again now, but still too weak to be do much but scowl at her.

 

“Don’t tell me to shut up, or maybe I’ll take all this stuff and leave you here!” she snapped back immediately.

 

“Leave me here to die? Go ahead. It’s not like we can both win anyway.”

 

They stared at each other, in equal shock, as soon as the words were from his lips. It was true- they knew that- but what was shocking was the regret that was in his voice. Katniss already knew, after their encounter in the woods, that he couldn’t kill her, but she had still been convinced that he wanted to win, even knowing that would mean she must die by someone else’s hand. But in his voice now was the idea that what he actually wanted was for them somehow to both win, to both live.

 

They were in complete silence for what felt like hours until Cato looked away, closing his eyes and leaning his head against the wall again. Realising that she didn’t really know what state he was in she picked up his torch and turned it on.

 

She couldn’t prevent the gasp slipping out of her mouth as the light hit them; revealing his real state to her. His face was the only thing she had seen clearly before and as she scanned over him with the torch she wished she’d had the sense to do this earlier.

 

He had been bleeding through his shirt on his right arm and on his right side- the white material stuck to him ominously. How badly had he been injured? She needed to get closer and see what she could do; the thought of facing having to heal them made her feel sick, but she knew it was likely he wouldn’t let her anyway. But what could she do? Pretend she hadn’t noticed and wait until he died before realising how bad it was?

 

“What are you doing?” he was suddenly staring at her intently again, annoyance laced through his voice.

 

“I need to look at your injuries.” She made herself sound firm and serious and glared back at him.

 

He snorted again, “Right, sure. You’re going to make me all better?”

 

Katniss scowled at the derision in his voice, “Well we can just keep waiting to see how bad it is; I don’t know, maybe in a day’s time you’ll get an infection and blood poisoning. Would you prefer that?” She was already rifling through the bags again, pulling out the first-aid kit from the gift box, and Cato’s bandages from his bag, when he snorted again but said nothing. Katniss, surprised, took this as his acquiescence and shuffled closer again to him, angling the torch so she could see his right side more clearly.

 

She reached a hand forward to peel back his shirt, but the minute it started to move he flinched.

 

“Fuck’s sake!” Cato cried out furiously, face twisted in pain.

 

“Take your shirt off then.”

 

His head snapped to hers immediately and she flushed at her own command. “Just do it Cato, I can’t clean the wound properly if you don’t.” She had always been embarrassed by people’s nakedness; she remembered running –horrified- when her mother had had to strip down a local coal miner to heal a burn on his thigh. But the thought of having to try and heal Cato- half naked- was enough to give her palpitations. Her hands were sweating and she wanted to slap herself.

 

Remarkably, he didn’t comment on her obvious embarrassment and he begun to peel the shirt up again, wincing and soon having to stop. Katniss realised she would have to do it for him and she sucked in a breath and knelt over him, conscious of his eyes on her, as she leant forward and gently, slowly, peeled the shirt from him.

 

She tried her best not to stare, but even in his battered state Cato’s body was remarkable. She could feel her whole body flush as she tried to avoid scanning every inch of his torso, and she focused her attention on the cut.

 

Thresh had obviously caught Cato’s side with a blade; the cut wasn’t too deep but needed to be cleaned quickly. She stared for a while, trying to steel herself for what she would have to do because even this felt out of her league. She grabbed the first aid kit and spotted the antiseptic lotion, ripping off a section from Cato’s bandages and pouring the lotion- mixed with water from her bottle- onto it.

 

“This is going to sting.” She said gently, but Cato remained unresponsive to her, strangely silent and still ever since she had edged forward to help him. She moved slowly and squeezed her eyes shut as he flinched and hissed against the pain when she pressed the soaked bandage to his cut. She tried to blank him out completely as she gently and carefully cleaned the area.

 

After she had finished she realised that the only way she could really try and keep infection out was by stitching the cut up. She gagged again at the thought. She couldn’t do that. She wasn’t her mother; she wasn’t Prim. She wasn’t a natural healer. She stared at him, his eyes shut and chest heaving and weighed up her options. She could bandage the cut and hope it didn’t get infected and healed on it’s own with regular cleaning. Or she could stitch it now and keep an eye on the stitches.

 

She winced, already knowing what she had to do. She sterilised the needle and the thread and looped it all together. She felt sick and her hands were shaking. _How am I possibly going to do this? What if I cause more damage then good?_

She looked back over at him and jumped, his eyes were open and on her again. “Just do it Katniss.”

 

It was the first time he’d ever used her name. It sounded different coming off his tongue, but she found that even as her stomach tingled, it calmed her down too. She nodded and edged over to him again.

 

She removed the bandage she had pressed to his side and ducked lower to get at a good angle. It was no good, she couldn’t do it like this.

 

“You’ll need to lie down.”

 

He didn’t say anything, but he pushed himself around with his left arm, and Katniss laid out his blanket, before gingerly helping him on to his back.

 

They were both silent and still for a few minutes, Katniss attempting to calm herself down and steel her stomach. Eventually she ducked down next to him and started.

 

*

 

Cato fell asleep, exhausted and in pain, only minutes after Katniss had finished stitching the cut on his arm. She watched him for a minute before climbing out of the cave to wash herself down in the river and change into the dry clothes.

 

She shook as she did both, still shaken from having to stitch him up, but also because she felt strange, tumultuous, since her encounter with him in the woods, and each minute longer she was with him made her feel odder and odder. What the hell was she doing? She had climbed willingly into that cave with him, willingly fixed up his injuries… willingly let him go after he had killed the boy from 5. She hadn’t only crossed the line she had drawn when she had volunteered- she had practically sprinted past it.

 

 _This was not how this was supposed to go. What the hell am I doing? What are we doing?_ Her own motives- whilst she couldn’t quite completely understand them herself- were clearer: she hadn’t ever really wanted to kill anyone in these Games. She had wanted to somehow just survive and go home. Her lack of desire to hurt Cato, therefore, she could understand. But this desire to stay here with him, to help him, to _survive with him_ was becoming unbearably confusing. And worse was the fact that he seemed to feel somewhat similar- and his motives were less clear to Katniss than anything in the world ever had been.

 

She splashed herself down, kicking about in her annoyance and rage, hurling a few loose rocks into the river and hoping that someone would give her an answer.

 

But was that what the gift had been? Telling her that what was happening with Cato was fine? She couldn’t understand- nothing in the Games was happening as she expected and she wasn’t sure what else she could take; what could be next?

 

She thought of Peeta and of Rue; all of these connections with people was putting her in a damnable position. If she wanted to get back home she would eventually have to hope they died by some other hands, or kill them herself. But she didn’t want either of those things to happen- she wanted them all to live: her, Cato, Peeta and Rue.

 

She sighed and peeled off her clothes, before dressing quickly into the identical- but clean and dry- new ones.

 

_What am I going to do?_

She looked up at the cave where Cato was resting and knew she didn’t have an answer.

 

*

 

Cato finally started stirring as Katniss dished herself a small portion of the lamb stew and rice, her stomach’s rumbling becoming too painful to ignore.

 

“Smells good.” He groaned, sitting up and wincing with each movement. He snorted once he saw what it was, and Katniss begun dishing him up a small bowl. “Isn’t that your favourite?”

 

She glanced up at him in surprise, nodding. “You remembered that?”

 

He didn’t respond, he merely sat up straighter against the cave wall. It took Katniss only a second to realise he wasn’t wearing his shirt still and she flushed again.

 

“You need to change- there are dry clothes for you.” She avoided his eyes as she jabbed her spoon in the direction of his pile of spare clothes. She could feel his eyes on her- _why does it feel like he’s always staring at me? -_ when he stood up. He was wobbly, still weak and sore, but seemed a lot better already.

 

Katniss was rooting for some more painkillers for him when out of the corner of her eyes she saw him drop his trousers. She looked up before she could stop herself and let out a loud, humiliating squeak. She felt hot all over instantly as she gazed at him- now only in his boxers, towering over her, tan muscles glistening with sweat. Her mouth dried out and then she caught him smirking.

 

“I didn’t mean in front of me, get out of here!” she shrieked suddenly, completely overwhelmed by the sudden urge to touch him, to press her mouth against his naked skin. She felt so hot and light-headed that she thought she might pass out. She turned her back to him, scowling. She tore a roll in half and dunked it viciously into her stew before shovelling it into her mouth. She couldn’t understand exactly why she felt so ridiculously out of control of her own body around Cato and she hated it. She had _never_ looked at a boy like that before; never had that burning feeling that had made her want to lean up and press her hand flat against his abs and mouth against his collar so she could kiss and nibble her way to his mouth. She could feel her blush returning and she angrily dunked the roll into the stew again.

 

“Happy now, prude?”

 

She turned her head slowly, determined not to have to face him half-naked again, but he had dressed and was easing himself back onto the floor again next to her. She scowled at the insult but handed him the water bottle and painkillers and nudged his bowl of stew over to him.

 

He swallowed the painkillers easily and had just swallowed his first mouthful of stew when there was a sudden, deafening sound- like a bomb going off- and the whole cave shook. Katniss grabbed her bow and scrambled to her feet and Cato struggled up after her, grabbing two of his knives. Out of the cave Katniss could see a smoke rising far ahead of them and there was a loud, odd, humming noise seeming to surround them; and she turned to Cato when all of a sudden another deafening bang went off and the rocks shook so badly under her that Katniss was shaken off her feet, and she fell back to the hard earth below her with a thump.

 

Minutes later she opened her eyes blearily to see the trees around her billowing with smoke, and everything was hazy when a face appeared over hers, wracked with concern and she croaked out in confusion, “Haymitch?”

* * *

 

**Please keep reading & reviewing- thanks! x**

**Author's Note:**

> This links to my other fic 'Paint Our Love' which is the Johanna/Finnick focussed version of this- these can both be read as standalones but do have neat crossover parts which I'd love your thoughts on. Thanks!


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